Loose Ends...Rant

16 posts / 0 new

#1 May 12 - 7PM

Sanity Check

Loose Ends...Rant

I was doing better dealing with things until today. I had contact with my exN out of necessity, not of choice. We're selling joint assets - the big one, being the house. Not surprisingly, he has to be in control of everything. He knows it all...and if he doesn't, then he consults the world's greatest experts, who he also happens to know. Just two e-mails from this fucking jerk and I am so drained. There is a court ordered bottom line that exN will not go beyond. Easy for him - he's still in the house and I'm still paying half.

Why does it seem that there is no justice? This asshole fondled my daughter and ruined our lives - yet there are no consequences for him. I didn't know what else to do other than leave with my girls right away. When your kid tells you something like that what else is there to do? You certainly don't stay and try to talk things out. My daughter wouldn't lie, but he certainly would. We've all had our lives ripped apart and are living in this crappy rental house and all he can think about is how this affects him....I know...that's what they do best. I think the offer we had is about to fall apart because I can't make him budge.

Sorry for the rant. I know that you guys get where I am coming from better than any other people on the planet. I am just exasperated and I want the bullshit to stop. It would make me feel better to know he was affected in some adverse way, but intellectually I know he won't be...can't be. 14 years of this crap....and I'm out of there and it still doesn't stop.

If you have a choice, don't contact your N's. I was doing so much better before today.

#2 May 12 - 9PM

SoaperGirl

I've been there with a molested child - KARMA bites back!

Oh, that's so sickening to have these monsters take advantage of your children. When it happened to me, or rather my daughter, I went to the Sheriff's department and filed charges! I got court protection, a divorce (all pro bono!) and he got 6 years in prison and 6 years probation. You think I was going to let that bastard win? No freaking way! Another thing, he lost all parental rights, and although I never saw a penny, he was ordered to pay child support. I got my kids completely out of the area, back home (in another state with my family) where they belonged. He will never be able to get anywhere near my kids. This happened in 1990, and they are adults now. My Point: Sometimes KARMA bites back!

#3 May 13 - 9AM (Reply to #13)

NinjaGirl

It sure does, although

It sure does, although sometimes it takes a while! My mom also took me and left when she found my father abusing me. She raised me on her own, without any of the child support he was supposed to be paying. And then she got laid off from her job. Long story short, after a few years she got a good job and is now doing well, she has a daughter who loves her more than anything and will always do anything for her for the rest of her life, and my father now has to face the fact that I don't even call him "Dad", barely talk to him, and laugh when he tells me I should respect him. Well, I laugh and hang up. He has nobody now. Sucks to be him, I guess. You reap what you sow.

#4 May 14 - 7AM (Reply to #14)

Sanity Check

Ninja

You and your Mom went through some hellish times, no doubt. I'm glad to hear that she is doing well and that you have a great relationship. Sometimes doing the right thing is difficult, but worth it in the end. Your father is getting exactly what he deserves. It's strange that you said "you reap what you sow". My exN used to say that frequently. I wonder if it was a premonition.

#5 May 14 - 7AM (Reply to #15)

Used

sanity check

no , he just heard someone else say it once, and probley thought that sounds profound i will use that, they dont know their arse from their elbow unless someone shows them lol.

#6 May 13 - 6AM (Reply to #9)

Sanity Check

Karma bites

I went to the police and they took our statements and they also took his. By the time they got to him, he had plenty of time to concoct his story and he is so smooth and such an accomplished liar, they thought he was believable. It all came down to one incident that happened in the middle of the night and the burden of proof - he was able to come up with something plausible and they bought his version. 6 years in jail! Wow. How are your kids doing now? I've heard of mothers who don't believe their kids and stay with these freaks. It makes me sick. I hope you are right about Karma taking a bite!

#7 May 13 - 10AM (Reply to #12)

SoaperGirl

I wonder if he ever became somebody's wife?

It was six years in prison. A part of me always wondered if he might have become somebody's wife while in the slammer. I did hear when he was in county lockup pending trial, he got into a lot of fights and lost a lot of weight. I never asked a lot of questions because I just glad to finally be rid of him. I wonder though...

#8 May 13 - 9AM (Reply to #10)

SoaperGirl

KARMA

Oops! I shoujld have said it happened in 1993. They're doing good. I do know that if ever tried to go back to him, even if I wanted to, which I don't! My kids would disown me. My daughter especially wants nothing to do with him. She's in a happy relationship now at age 28. She seems to have moved on, and put him in the past.

#9 May 13 - 7PM (Reply to #11)

Sanity Check

Soaper

Wouldn't it be great if Bubba found him in jail? Nothing like being prison gay. I am relieved to hear that your daughter is in a happy relationship. It gives me hope for my girls! Thanks.

#10 May 12 - 8PM

mynewlife2011

happened to me too...

Yes, you can go back to court ex parte and request the judge make him agree to the offer, stating the respondent is being unreasonable and causing undue hardship. In our court proceedings we were ordered to list a property, and he wouldn't budge on an offer. I was ticked because there is the added expense of paying for the property (which neither one of us was living in), plus it being a very volatile market didn't know if we would ever receive another offer. They are control freaks. And stupid. At any rate, I decided I wasn't playing the game anymore. I moved into a nicer home (instead of a crappy rental), I used a "better school district for kids" as the excuse for moving...which then led to my expense ratio being too high to assist making further payments on the home. In the end, I gave him the property in exchange for an IRA.

#11 May 13 - 6AM (Reply to #6)

Sanity Check

Back to court

When I went to court the judge said that we had to accept 5% or below the asking price. The offer I had was slightly out of that range. I have to go back to court soon and I will raise what you've said about being unreasonable and undue hardship...I think my situation would qualify. I agree about them being control freaks - I used to think this was his only problem :)...little did I know. Thanks for the advice!

#12 May 14 - 2PM (Reply to #7)

Hunter

Get life insurance on him,

Get life insurance on him, call Tony Saprano and Live happily ever after. ( Just Kidding) What a story, OMG! truly no conscious. Do what's best for you and your kids. Hunter

#13 May 12 - 7PM

Deidre40

Someone on here, forgive

Someone on here, forgive me...can't recall her name now...wrote the BEST post the other day about this very thing. She has to deal with her ex because they have kids, but she has a third party arrange things. I was blown away by her tenacity and commitment to NC. In other words...she wasn't ever going to have contact in any way, shape or form with him again--direct or indirect. I thought it was such an awesome post. I will have to try to find it. But ...I bring it up here, because maybe you can just have a third party...whether that's a lawyer or friend or whoever...deal with him, so you don't ever have to deal with him...directly. I'm so very sorry for what he has done to you and your family. :=( My prayers go out to you!

#14 May 12 - 8PM (Reply to #2)

Sanity Check

I didn't even think of

I didn't even think of involving my lawyer with this, but should have saved myself the aggravation. If you find the post, please guide me to where it is - thanks for your kind and caring words.

#15 May 12 - 8PM (Reply to #3)

Deidre40

I just did a quick search of

I just did a quick search of the last three pages...ugh. I can't find it. I want to say her name begins with a 'p,' but not 100%. I will look tomorrow...it's well worth the read. She gives excellent advice, and I honestly marveled at her resolve to stay COMPLETELY NC. Hang in there. That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger, right?? You have our hugs and prayers here.

#16 May 13 - 6AM (Reply to #4)

Sanity Check

Thanks Deidre

I'll shuffle through the posts and see if I can find P's post. Appreciate the hugs and prayers!

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