Well, mine called me (just to try and LIE some more) but yes, your's has ZERO balls (too band you weren't the one that got the pleasure of making him ball-less) : )
On top of being strong, you are also funny too !!!Great catch! PS. He has ED so he might as well be, after being so proud of his virlity for many years!
Thank you-that's sweet of you to say! I try to throw in a little humor. : )
You have just made my evening!! Seriously, he has ED???? THANK YOU, KARMA!! Couldn't have happened to a nice guy-Karma made the right choice and I can only pray the same fate on mine!
Scared was better than the cold shoulder I expected, but still bizarre! This was my "man" for the last 10 years acting afraid to speak to me...At least that means they know they did wrong. They just don't personally care, but I guess they don't want to get yelled at, sued or threatened by the victims of their bad behavior.
My guess is he has done this before with women who have a tougher constitution than me and has probably taken extreme heat after one of his past abandonments of someone. So I think he was relieved because I was scared too after not speaking for 4 months...
I do think NC is best, but I needed this call because we never broke up or acknowledged anything!
Gosh, I am figuring out just how COMPLETELY SPINELESS they are!!! Blows me away!!
I am glad you made that final call (for your own peace of mind and closure). I'm sorry it was not what you were hoping for, but you must have a made an impact on him because if you hadn't, he wouldn't BE scared.
He knows how close we were, that he ran away, faded quickly, never bothered to break up, watched me sweat it out all Fall trying to figure out if he just needed space or if it was over and he had a new GF while I was emailing in terrible pain missing him...he knows this is bad...I am still blown away but coming out of shock. it has been about 3 months now that i realized it is over and that he does not want me and is happy with new supply.
I thought we were madly in love...(madly good word!)
Oh yeah, he knew exactlly what he was doing. I am so very sorry he abandonded you like that-absolutely SPINELESS!
Well, he may be happy now (or think he is) but I am sure he is gonna realize just what a "good supply" you were, but he won't have the nerve to contact you (maybe that is a good thing). Mine has balls of steel and I KNOW he WILL be in contact, but I am hopefully going to still be mad and by the time he tries it after that, hopefully I will be indifferent and my ignoring HIM will help me along in this process.
Thank you so much for all of your great posts! If you need anything or just want to talk, I am here for you!
The difficulty with the whole N coming back thing...to me, anyways...is...if we're honest. We want them to come back...as to a 'normal' person, this shows they must have cared about us. Right? But, to them...they come back only for one reason...to suck us back in...with sweet words and I miss you...etc..only to hurt us again. To show us who's boss. To hurt us for the pain we supposedly caused them before they left.
But, to us...we rejoice ...oh, he did love me. No, he didn't. He misses the supply.
So...we need to be honest with why we ask these questions...will a narc come back? Because we shouldn't WANT them to. I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm just saying...we need to be honest...some of us want the N's attention, as we haven't healed and still need their validation.
What you say is true. And even when we realize we are only supply and they never really loved us, at some level you feel further rejected because now you're no longer good enough to fill *that* role. You're not interchangeable with other women anymore, which is horrible in and of itself, but tossed in the dump heap of useless objects. Just adds insult to injury. So even though we know the only thing they'd be coming back for at this point is supply, we still want them to need OUR form of supply, because at one point, we were his best source of supply. Even some toasters are better models than others. For me, I would love for my exN to come back looking for the best supply he ever had (after I've gotten over any residual manipulative hold he would have over me) and to withhold it and laugh in his face.
But that was a decade ago. All I *WANTED* was validation on my part, and perhaps some major narcissistic injury on his. 7 years ago, I expected to get at least an "eff off" or "leave me alone" or his once-tried-and-true "DON'T mock me."
There were times when I wanted an apology... something. The ex-Psych prof USED to be my teacher, for goodness' sake! It's not like he&I were boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, something that Ns/Ps habitually lie about.
Now I'm glad he doesn't want my attention. Yes, I've broken NC... but I've only used the strategies that kept him away when I saw him in the flesh... such as ridiculing him.
"We shouldn't WANT them to"-Thanks to here, yes, I've come to see that if he came back, he'd be about as welcome as a diaper rash. I'm glad I'm no longer the dealer who gives him supply... but the one who dishes out cr@p and hikes up the price...
Never said better!! Thus is so true and what I struggle with. I exposed him and he made it look like he discarded me. Part of me wants him to return and beg for my forgiveness to know he dis love me even a little. For my ego and to ignore him. I went to Sandra Brown's retreat for women who love psychopaths and she said she never met one that didn't return even if it was 25 years later. The problem is I keep trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. I want him to be normal and he never will! I keep trying to make him non pathological!! It hurts and I hate that I miss him!
{{{hugs}}} aw...i know your pain. :=(
Here is some hope for you though. When we heal ourselves? When we stop needing validation from outside sources? (I'm guilty of this but working on it) We will no longer miss them. :=)
So...you only miss him, because you haven't healed...and you literally have to deprogram everything he spewed at you..and reprogram good stuff. Once you heal from what attracts you to narcs...(like me)...you will no longer need or miss him.
I can promise you that. Pm me if you need to chat. :=) Happy Friday!
I wait for that day. Somehow it is easy to be honest with others and not with ourselves.
I guess part if me is still holding on and does not want to let go. Especially when I travel on a business trip like now I was so used to speaking with him all the time
Well, mine called me (just to
Mell
Thank you-that's sweet of you
Mel
What a total coward!! I am SO
Thanks Mell
Gosh, I am figuring out just
He is not stupid
Oh yeah, he knew exactlly
The difficulty with the whole
What you say is true. And
I USED to want the ex-P to come back...
Deidre40
trying2heal
Deidre