Do All Narcs Cheat?

25 posts / 0 new
Last post
#1 Apr 5 - 4PM
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

Do All Narcs Cheat?

With my ex-N trust was always an issue and I had many, many red flags. He would talk his way out of everything and make me think I was absolutely crazy & insecure. But in the end..yep!! It was all true & more. He cheated the whole time with countless women. I didn't even confirm all of it & I thank God he spared me all the details. Are there any faithful narcs?

Apr 6 - 6AM
onwithmylife
onwithmylife's picture

I must be in the small minority

but mine did not with me, i know he cheated on his first wife, she told me , but he was faithful with me maybe because he was older, 50, at this time and he had good supply who was not going anywhere and he ahd such low self esteem he did not want to bother tryin g to find another woman,now he lives by himself, a lonely and isolated life, of his choosing.
Apr 6 - 1AM
dudette
dudette's picture

yup

I only know about 3 of them but I suspect another 6 that I can think of... All those women he would say bad things about like "she is really unsexy....I really do not fancy her" Yeah right..... Cannot help himself....
Apr 6 - 6AM (Reply to #23)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

Mine Too

Mine had a lot of "friends" and "fans" but they were "not his type of girl". Knowing what I know now..I don't think anyone is NOT his type. How gross!
Apr 6 - 1AM
ImStrong
ImStrong's picture

Yes

My answer Is Yes they all cheat..remember they have to secure your replacement before your discarded..thats usually in the devalue stage when you and him are still together..yep they have to cheat

"In the fiery pit lays a man with two faces.One is the face of a God and the other a face of the Devil.Beware He lurks your souls.Keep one hand on your heart and the other hand over your eyes. Let him walk pass you not into you.Ghost of love will possess

Apr 6 - 8AM (Reply to #21)
ewa
ewa's picture

I would agree with

I would agree with ImStrong. Mine did, and this was the reason for me to break up with him. They have not reason for which they would not cheat, as this is all about them. Strangely after i broke up with him, he did not go to his "backups" (in fact he called this girls backups himself) but he found a new girl. I think they were only additional sources of supplly :)..LOL
Apr 5 - 10PM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I think the concept of faithful narc

Would contradict as how the heck would they go about getting supply unless they did?
Apr 5 - 9PM
dazed and seeki...
dazed and seeking peace and strength's picture

Mine cheated. Like crazy.

Mine cheated. Like crazy. November, I found out about woman 1. December I found out about woman 2. March I found out about woman 3. This past Saturday, I found out about women 4, 5, & 6. So I think yes. You can't be the only supply, right?
Apr 5 - 7PM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

I don't doubt all narcs cheat

I doubt that there are any faithful narcs! Just wanted to make my post very clear! LOL

victimnomore

Apr 5 - 7PM (Reply to #17)
Journey
Journey's picture

Yes they all cheat!!

Lol, victimnomore, me too! My comment's title below reads to look like I don't think they all do. Just to qualify, only short, short, like under 4 months short can I think maybe they don't cheat. So yes, unless you kick them to the curb real early, while he's still in the idolization and conquer phase and too busy monopolizing all your time to learn how to emotionally control you... they all cheat!

Journey on...

Apr 5 - 6PM
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Yes!

Yes they do!
Apr 5 - 6PM
Journey
Journey's picture

I think they might not all

I think they might not all cheat in short relationships, but that they all must eventually cheat in long term ones. It comes down to these basic narcissistic and psychopathic traits: (I'm paraphrasing what I remember having read) - poor impulse control - often don't think about consequences of their actions or that they'll get caught - like to feel powerful and know they have one up on others - get bored in intimate relationships very quickly once they have gotten what they initially set out to get - be it our love, time, money, companionship, adulation or sex - like a challenge - lack of empathy - inability to love or emotionally attach to anyone intimately In my opinion every narc cheats as soon as they know they want to end a relationship because it is my understanding and experience that they HAVE to secure new supply before they leave our supply behind.

Journey on...

Apr 5 - 9PM (Reply to #14)
dazed and seeki...
dazed and seeking peace and strength's picture

Journey, this sounds right on

Journey, this sounds right on point. It hits the nail on the head to me. All of the women started up about 2.5 years into our relationship. The longest relationship he's ever been in.
Apr 5 - 8PM (Reply to #8)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Oh God, and when I read stuff

Oh God, and when I read stuff like this I want to call him up and chew his ass out! He totally strung me along until he found new supply. The thing is, I sensed (knew) he was using me at one point, looking for someone new and even confronted him about it. He said I was all wrong about him of course. At that time, I didn't know he was a Narc and that it was a supply issue, I could just tell he was testing the waters with other women but not letting me go. Aaaaahhhhh!!!!!! And they just keep getting away with it! When do they ever pay? People always say that they will get theirs in the end, but they never do! They just keep moving on to the next victim or even returning to the previous ones! Bastards!
Apr 6 - 6AM (Reply to #13)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

Anger

I agree. I am so angry about the constant lying and cheating. He is just plain evil. I don't know how to let go of the anger. Some days it is still so strong. I too confronted him all the time about what he was up to and he continued to reassure me. Sicko!!!!
Apr 5 - 9PM (Reply to #9)
gettinbetter
gettinbetter's picture

Oh they will pay alright.

Oh they will pay alright. Eternity is a long long time
Apr 6 - 7AM (Reply to #12)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Lol, good one

I love it!! Sickofit. God bless, Goldie
Apr 6 - 1AM (Reply to #11)
It'sAllAboutMeNow (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Thats great!!

That's great!! Well said. I couldn't have said it any better. haha Loved that!
Apr 5 - 9PM (Reply to #10)
Smitten Kitten (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

They need to pay now! In this

They need to pay now! In this life! Not some afterlife we don't know exists. Sorry, I'm agnostic and don't believe in Heaven and Hell and an afterlife. I am just so mad right now wondering how many women he was really screwing.
Apr 5 - 5PM
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Hope Again

I'm so sorry! You sound so much like me! I had red flags waving around for 3 years!! I had women in my face and showing up at his house and I let him charm his way out of it with the stupidest lies I've ever heard. I look back now and I'm so embarrassed and ashamed that I bought all of that BS! I think they all cheat. I don't know that for sure but from all that I've read and from what I've seen on this forum I think they are all CHEATERS! I'm glad you don't know all of the details. It's much better that way. It will make you SICK!
Apr 5 - 6PM (Reply to #4)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

Brutal Details

Well I know some details but not all. Enough details to make me extremely sick for a long time. First red flag was a girl who was dancing on a bar gave him the finger and he denied he even knew her. Then admitted he did know her...& I am sure there was lots more to the story I didn't find out. Then 7 months into our 2 1/2 year debacle of a relationship a "friend" of his that I met at his grandmother's wake came running after me in the parking lot of a bar to tell me she "f-ed him two weeks ago". He talked his way out but I went on for another year and a half with my gut gnawing at me about it. He kept his life sufficiently separate that I could never pin him down.I found out later that it was true and he was with her during the first year and a half of our debacle. This girl & I became friendly and she told me she used to go thru his phone and see multi texts to women for sex and pictures of women's body parts on his phone. I caught him in lies over and over and he continued to twist my brain around and say I was "negative" and "insecure". And yes...I also had the silent treatment and countless d&d's. He always denied screwing around during any of our "breaks" or times when he was just "laying low", "passing out on someone's couch", "working late"..etc, etc, etc. I suffered thru countless nights alone and mind games. Now I know he was in another woman's bed every single time.
Apr 5 - 6PM (Reply to #5)
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Hope Again

I love the way you describe your relationship!! Debacle sums up a relationship with a Narc perfectly! Haaaaaaa! Isn't it insane how we see it with our own eyes over and over again and still IGNORE IT!??? I did the same thing and it just makes me sick.
Apr 5 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
HopeAgain
HopeAgain's picture

Debacle!!! Nothing else describes the relationship or the narc!

Yep, I had the strongest gut feelings about what he was up to. When he would disappear for days I would go on a text frenzy accusing him and saying all kinds of nasty stuff...it was my instinct telling me exactly what he was doing..but my accusations gave him more of an excuse to disappear, give the silent treatment and d&d...then come back to use me more!
Apr 5 - 4PM
JMi
JMi's picture

Yep pretty sure of it Mine

Yep pretty sure of it Mine used to d&d to allow the cheat so he could act as if we weren't together when the cheat occured but he'd never actually broke things off with me..........the words were never said he just thought that by ignoring me/silent treatment would excuse his behaviour I met one of his OW just last week she owned up to everything - when a few weeks earlier he had scoffed at the 'rumour' of him and her and convinced me that my own family were making up this bullshit.........i think he is still convincing himself it never happened........whatever sweetheart! I spent 11 years thinking he was faithful - silly me I believe now that he was faithful for a year at most!
Apr 5 - 4PM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

I doubt

I doubt it. The stbxnh/p cheated for the whole 25 years we were together. He lied all the time and talked me into believing him, but I knew deep down that he was a cserial cheater. Just glad I'm done! Now he can cheat on someone else.

victimnomore