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Question for everyone

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#1 Apr 4 - 10AM
exhausted
exhausted's picture

Question for everyone

I am having a slight issue. I know it shouldnt even bother me but for some reason it does.

My narc hates me! He is so rude for no reason. I had to ask him for something work related this morning and he just dropped it on my desk and walked away. I said thank you but he said nothing. He hasnt looked at me in over a week. Don't get me wrong, I don't care that he is doing this. I'm just not sure why he is doing this. My only thought is that he resents me for moving on. I am clearly a happier person now than I was 4 months ago. I am seeing a great guy and I am laughing and acting goofy again. I am getting back to my old self. He has not moved on. He still mopes around and is frantically trying to get his life together. I don't really care about what he has going on. I just don't understand why he thinks that it is ok for him to act like an asshole towards me. Any normal guy would look at me and be relieved that I was able to move on and that he didnt damage me in some way. Not my narc though. He hates me for it.

What I am wondering is do you think he is jealous that I got over him or is he trying to play a game and piss me off to the point that I actually talk to him and ask what is going on?

Apr 4 - 2PM
sara-smile
sara-smile's picture

Exhausted

Your Narc is stuck in Jr High games and drama! He's playing games with you because nothing he has done so far to get your attention has worked! He's tried every hoovering scenerio he could come up with and none of it worked! He's not use to not getting his way and now he's acting like a baby. He's pathetic. You are doing AWESOME!!! If you had asked me 2 months ago where we would be today I wouldn't have answered almost healed and telling them to kiss our ass! I am so proud of us! Love you!
Apr 4 - 2PM (Reply to #17)
prettypeeved
prettypeeved's picture

Actually I'd argue it's

Actually I'd argue it's another method of hoovering. He'll sulk and ignore you in the hope you feel sorry for him and go back to giving him the supply he craves. Eventually even this will fail and he'll be totally unable to figure out what to do.
Apr 4 - 2PM (Reply to #15)
exhausted
exhausted's picture

Wow you are right. We have

Wow you are right. We have come a long way in a short period of time. Just the other day I looked back and reread some of our first posts. We are both different people now than we were then. Look at our narcs though. They are exactly the same. Can't wait to see where we are in 2 more months. Hopefully on the beach drinking a margarita!!!
Apr 4 - 7PM (Reply to #16)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

EX

Can I join you at the beach too? ): Ill bring the Taquila !
Apr 4 - 11AM
TLSM
TLSM's picture

Nothing to do with you...

Don't take it personally, because remember...They don't care about us or our feelings. They aren't capable. The ONLY reason he is moping IS BECAUSE HIS SOURCE HAS MOVED ON TO SOMEONE ELSE!!! He is a little boy who's toy (PUNCHING BAG?) was taken away from him. He is feeling sorry for himself. Ignore him!
Apr 4 - 11AM
victimnomore
victimnomore's picture

Yes

Yes he's playing games. Ignore him.

victimnomore

Apr 4 - 10AM
dudette
dudette's picture

silent treatment and the stone cold face

It's like suddenly they have no manners... Just another form of abuse, the most potent. I experienced that too.... I think mine was hoping I would beg to go back and fight for his love against OW. I did not..... In any case, they do that a lot, if anything, it sort of confirms the fact that the guy has a disorder of some kind...
Apr 4 - 1PM (Reply to #10)
exhausted
exhausted's picture

This is funny because at

This is funny because at first this is what I did. I would beg him to pick me over her. The more he ignored me and the meaner he was to me then more I wanted him to choose me. He is so dumb that he can't see that this no longer works on me. Actually nothing will work on me at this point.
Apr 4 - 2PM (Reply to #11)
dudette
dudette's picture

Exhausted

yes pitching you up against another woman is something they really enjoy.... too bad for him that it came at a time when I was very tired of all the drama and stuff. not in a mood for a fight, ready to give it all up and all the anxiety and anger of the last few days..... " I love you but I also love .... and I cannot commit to you" I laughed at his face. I really did, and then walked away..
Apr 4 - 10AM
From the Ashes
From the Ashes's picture

Question for Everyone

He is an asshole, your best position is complete indifference, he dose not care if you are well, ill or dead, just what he can get from you, any reaction is useful to him, just don't react. Be STRONG.
Apr 4 - 10AM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ding,ding,ding, He's playing

Ding,ding,ding, He's playing a game. They hate the silent treatment, they like to dish it but can't take! Remember, Liars, users. & losers! Hahaha, your winning the narc war!
Apr 4 - 11AM (Reply to #7)
spinning
spinning's picture

Ex, just adding

my two cents and a big smile for YOU to what Ideal and From the Ashes said! You are a winner!!!! Great work. And I'll reiterate "liars, users and losers!" Who needs 'em??? Enjoy your day! Sincerely (still trying to stop) spinning

spinning

Apr 4 - 10AM (Reply to #2)
exhausted
exhausted's picture

Thats what I thought.

Thats what I thought. Thanks! If it was the other thing then that would mean that he actually cared enough to notice that I moved on and that I am now happy. Maybe when he looks at me all he sees is something that he once controlled and is desperatly trying to get that control back and the only way he thinks he can get a reaction out of me is to ignore me.
Apr 4 - 10AM (Reply to #3)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ex

Girl, you are getting good at this, You have taken the Bull by the Horns, the Hard work you put into this has paid off!!! Can I ask, what happened to OW? Is she still glowing?
Apr 4 - 11AM (Reply to #4)
exhausted
exhausted's picture

Haha! To be honest I have no

Haha! To be honest I have no idea what is going on. I have stopped asking other people about it. I can kind of tell what is going on by his actions though. He is running around like a crazy person. He is not eating. He doesnt laugh with anyone. He pulls his "friends" away from the office to have secret meetings. All this behavior is telling me that she still wants nothing to do with him. I LOVE IT!! Karma is a bitch!!
Apr 4 - 7PM (Reply to #6)
Redhead1
Redhead1's picture

Woot! Whoot! I love it too.

Woot! Whoot! I love it too. He's the only one left in the triangle. I bet he was feeling so manly that it took him a while to figure out you were both gone. LOL You are doing great. Just keep acting indifferent.
Apr 4 - 11AM (Reply to #5)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ex

Haha, She'll be running to you next, be prepared! Have a Rockin week! Again I'm very proud of you!