Update - done

Just wanted to give you a quick update on my situation:

A week ago my ex-narc suddenly wanted to contact me (after I hadn't heard from him for weeks because he had started dating someone new RIGHT after he had tried getting back together with me and had dropped me as soon as he met New Woman)
I didn't feel like talking to him. Told him I had to work (which was true, I needed my energy spent on other things than him). That seemed to bother him because he tried to contact me online etc.
After a week of text messages (nothing interesting though) we finally talked last night for the first time in almost a month. He was just taking the train to go see New Woman, who lives about 4hrs away. The conversation was awkward and made me realize that I cannot be friends with him. It also made me realize that some of his behavior is definitely not normal.
He asked me how I was and the question sounded totally mechanical. I did not tell him anything personal, kept it shallow. Then he asked me what my plans for the summer were (what was that about?) and I said I hadn't planned anything yet and what his plans were. He said he was traveling to XYZ for two weeks (gave the exact date too), so I asked "Oh, with New Woman?" and he said yes but when I asked if they had already booked the vacation since he was mentioning it in APRIL! it turned out it was just an idea and he was planning to travel with friends for part of the time, so I wondered if New Woman even knew of these plans and how much of it was just wishful thinking from his part.

The phone conversation went on for 20minutes and then I ended it.

The reason I am talking about this here is that there were a few things I realized during and after the conversation:
1) He only calls me when he's bored (when he has a girlfriend)
2) He says he wants to be friends but it's total bullshit. However, by calling me occasionally he's still being a "good" friend, so if I go NC I will be the mean one.
3) He asks me questions about myself but it doesn't sound like he's really interested. He sounds bored
4) I didn't find out much about New Woman but it seems to me that it will be another non-functioning relationship. Right now it seems he's set to conquer her but he doesn't sound happy like he should when someone's in love. I actually feel bad for her in a way. She's my age and must be a smart woman (a doctor) and I hope she doesn't fall for him like I did. Or at least doesn't get hurt. I actually hope she'll reject him so it will crush his ego for a couple of weeks.
5) He canceled plans he had with a friend this weekend to go see New Woman. I could've been that friend too -> he's treating other people like he's treating me and what kind of friendship is that anyway?
6) The conversation between me and him, when he's not interested in me or pursuing me can be extremely boring -> I have better friends to spend my time with, friends who really care how I feel, who have empathy.
7) I will never, ever be able to plan fun things with him like I do with other friends because I can't rely on him or trust him

All this made me realize that there is really no reason or point for me to try and stay friends with him. I took him back when he came back 3 months ago. I was willing to give him another chance, I felt bad for him. He dropped me as soon as he met someone new and as soon as he knew he "had me".
He had his chance.
It also proved to me again, what he's like and that he's incapable of having a normal relationship.

I felt indifferent at first and then later I did feel sad but I realized that the deep sadness I was feeling last night was NOT because I was missing him but because I was feeling lonely. There is NOTHING about him that I miss anymore. Not even the few fantastic moments we had together a few months ago because they seem fake to me now (I used to really miss the fun times we had during our relationship after the first breakup).
He's not as crazy as some of the narcs described on this board are, but he's a narc, no doubt and he'll never be able to have a healthy relationship.

I'm done with him and I think that even if he comes around another time (which he will, I'm sure), I won't fall for his tricks anymore. Pathetic.

I discovered this board less than 3 weeks ago. It happened coincidentally and at a time when some friends had started asking me things like "Why are you letting him use you?". It also happened at a time when I started realizing that a healthy relationship between me and him was not possible. Back then I had still wanted it though, was hoping for him to change.
I remember getting some good advice on this board but it felt too abrupt then and I felt like I needed to process it all.
I am glad I didn't go NC 3 weeks ago because I needed more proof of what he was like, after I discovered I was dealing with a narc, which I got last night.
This board "appeared" at the right time when I was already beginning to figure my ex out and when I already knew that it wasn't my fault we had not worked out as a couple a year ago.
Yes, I am hurting, because it sucks being alone but I finally know that this guy is NOT the right one for me. Never will be.
Do I feel bad for him? Nope. Will I be there for him after his next breakup? Nope. He had his chance. I might even say that to him when he comes around again.
He's finally succeeded in making me NOT WANT HIM anymore.

yay.

I'm so glad I found this message board :) Thanks for listening!