"Guard your heart."
This is where the problem lies for us. Still looking for approval, water if you will, from the dry well. This is what got many in the problem in the first place. Looking for approval from our dad's (a normal expectation) and the bf/husband (again, a reasonable want and hope). They didn't have it to give. Not in a way that we found comforting.
Some may have lost their Mom's or they were emotionally absentee or roller coaster in personality.
I have been there. Wanting so badly to receive the support from the men in my life. Yet it was not in the cards.
After feeling the pain and releasing it. Acceptance becomes the key. And a strong resolve to never ever put ourselves in a position to look for approval to that extent outside of ourselves again.
We will always want to accepted and approved of by the group. This is human. Wanting a special connection with a mate is a strong drive for many.
Becomes important as we grow and heal to be selective with whom we share our inner beings.
Natural to want to turn to our dads when we have male troubles. Just not my dad or your dad or some other dads we know.
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.”
When Solomon refers to guarding the heart, he really means the inner core of a person, the thoughts, feelings, desires, will, and choices that make that person who he/she is. Our thoughts often dictate who we become.
The mind of a man reflects who he really is, not simply his actions or words. That is why God examines the heart of a man, not simply his outward appearance and what he "appears" to be.
Important lessons for US to learn.
Co dependent personality types, rarely learn to guard their hearts until they have been trampled and stomped. Sad yet true.
Many have PTSD from prior trauma as well which brings along its own series of issues.
Adult children of addicts and PD parents often have a heck of a time setting boundaries as well.
Also a reluctance to closely examine WHO you are letting near and into your heart is also a common trait you may find in the co dependent personality.
We work on patching these seams and strengthening our vessels to become sea worthy again in my Support Groups.
A healed confident person with boundaries in place is less likely to get sucked into the web of a PD again. Plus when the focus is back on you, your peace of mind returns as well.
Together and Healing~
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