Contact = Pain

I love a beautiful hot summer day.. It's mid August, sun is blazing the waves crashing on Lake Michigan! What day..if this day could be bottled up and saved..

I'm looking hot in my bikini, reading Lisa's book ,drinking a nice glass of lemonade ... Ahhhh Paradise!!

Buzz,Buzz,Buzz..... What's that?? Ugh ..a pesky yellow jacket... Fine, they have a place on the planet too.. I'm going to ignore that darn bug, maybe it will fly away.. I think he wants some of my lemonade ..

Ok .. where was I ... Ok .. the chapter about No Contact...

Buzz,Buzzz.... Ugh, darn Bee.. Ignore,ignore,ignore..... Buzz,Buzzz.. Lisa's book is now a weapon..Swat, Swat..I missed...

OUCH!!! Little bastard stung me... Now I'm in pain, my afternoon is over .. My arm is swollen from that Bee, it hurts ... I guess I'll pack up and go home to an Ice pack..

Buzz,Buzz, creepy Bee, Its laughig at me... Figures, he flys off Buzzingly happy to find his next victim.. If only I used Lisa book in a different light. Not to get that bug but I should have applied the rule of NC..

Yes, that bee was Hoovering ,trying to wreck my day , had I ignored it ,eventually he would have left me alone..

I made the wrong choice..I went after that bug with thoughts of squashing it ... He won and stung me instead!!OUCH!!!!!

Lesson.. Contact = Pain

"Walk Like a Butterfly, sting like a Bee"


Oct 9 - 7PM
Laci423's picture

Great analogy and so very,

Oct 9 - 7PM
Laci423's picture

Great analogy and so very,

Feb 21 - 10PM
sparky's picture

I too am VERY NEAR Our

Nov 4 - 4PM
zzcem's picture

So true!

I love your post! BTW I am also near Lake Michigan (Chicago). Getting over a 20 month relationship with a Somatic Narcissist. Ugh! The pain! I changed my cell and email address to ensure NO CONTACT, because yes it does equal pain. Even just the tiniest snippet of contact.
Oct 31 - 4PM
a65703's picture

this reminds me of the swan and scorpion tale

There was a Swan at the edge of a river and a scorpion approached asking the swan if she would kindly give him a ride to the other side of the river on her back. The swan said "no, you are a scorpion, you will sting me and I will die." The scorpion assured the swan that he wouldn't do that, all he wanted was a ride to the other side and he promised she was safe with him. So the swan gave in and allowed the scorpion to climb upon her back. She swan to the other side and just before reaching the shore the scorpion stung her and jumped to safety. As the swan was sinking, slowly dying from the poisons she asked the scorpion why he broke his promise and stung her. The scorpion said "I'm a scorpion, that is what I do." This story will stay with me forever.
Sep 12 - 8PM (Reply to #18)
AfricanLady's picture

I like this swan and Scorpio

Oct 29 - 8PM
empath's picture

contact = pain, NC = peace.

Contact = pain. NC = peace. Delete, delete, delete. Lather, rinse, repeat. :-) Thanks Hunter!
Oct 22 - 8PM
Susan32's picture

Great analogy!

Ns/Ps are like mosquitoes. They're annoying, they buzz around, they're out for blood. NC means no longer dealing with the madness, the confused communication, the cruelty. NC is like that spray that keeps the bugs away. NC is about what William James, the great philosopher/psychologist/Harvard prof called "healthy-mindedness."
Oct 22 - 3PM
hryan77's picture

I love this

Thank you!!! Mine hoovered and contacted me again over a month ago...still trying to get back on track, I didn't respond but it still did damage
Oct 22 - 9AM
Avid's picture


Hunter that is awesome. I am going to remember that one walk like a butterfly sting like a bee. That should be the narc theme song.
Oct 21 - 6PM
heritage's picture

Great analogy Hunter! Thanks!

Great analogy Hunter! Thanks!
Oct 21 - 5PM
Sherbear's picture


Love this Hunter. xoxo
Oct 22 - 3PM (Reply to #11)
Lisa E. Scott
Lisa E. Scott's picture

Love it!

Oh, Hunter, I just love this! So true! So brilliant! "Walk Like a Butterfly, sting like a Bee!"
Oct 21 - 5PM
Tigerlily's picture

First Rate Post, Hunter!

Loved it! Hugs. Tigerlily
Oct 21 - 4PM
Happy1's picture

Contact = Pain

This is perfect Hunter! I hate bees even more now!
Oct 21 - 5PM (Reply to #8)
Hunter's picture

Squash that narc like a bug!!

Squash that narc like a bug!! NC does the trick!
Oct 21 - 1PM
Gravity's picture

Love it hunter!

hahaha AMAZING metaphor hunter. So true! The interesting thing is.. a bee will sting you despite the fact that it usually will die after doing so. Much like the bee, the N's spend so much time stinging other people that they let themselves go to waste while dying inside. SHOO bee don't bother me!
Oct 21 - 11AM
Goldie's picture

Brilliant Hunter, I lOVE this!!!

Laughing and "getting it" all at the same time. The bee is looking to sting, not to love you, not to come back and change, they do what they do. It is always the same. Also you make a great point about how so many of us come here to see if we can learn how to get the bee to NOT WANT to sting us anymore, when the answer is quite simple: Contact with the bee = getting stung again and again and yes once again. Thanks for sharing this, I will NEVER look at bee's the same way again and will most likely start laughing out loud the next time I see one and say: "oh yes, there is my little narc trying to sting me again." God bless, Goldie
Oct 21 - 5PM (Reply to #5)
Sherbear's picture


Love your insight too!
Oct 21 - 2PM (Reply to #4)
Hunter's picture

They "walk like a butterfly

They "walk like a butterfly but sting like a bee" indeed!! Swat!!! Hunter
Oct 21 - 11AM
Sparrow's picture

Great analogy Hunter! And

Great analogy Hunter! And yes, it is as simple as = pain. I love your amusing spin on things!
Oct 21 - 10AM
Sea's picture

I was in Chicago earlier this

I was in Chicago earlier this year for work and I rem jogging to lake Michigan to see sun rise. And my angel is coming from there. Thanks Hunter! I was thinking about how nice to get a warm hug from nacky on fri nite and your timely reminder that it bites!! Pain!! Thanks for this! If i contact i know narcky is going to bite me for running away in NC. No. Not going back. Hugs Sumiko
Oct 21 - 3PM (Reply to #1)
Swan's picture


as long as you still have one little toe in the fire, you are still going to get burned!!!