Hi Goldie: I am really having a tough time with the NC. I feel like I am going through some kind of hellish withdrawal and it has only been two days. The last contact was on Saturday morning when he showed up at my door (this after threatening to take legal action against me in an email he sent on Thursday night...I didn't respond to that one). On Saturday morning he showed up and rang the doorbell incessantly until I answered. He wanted to talk, go for tea.....I told him my friend was over (male) and he said really and I said yes we are painting and I don't want to talk...he pushed his way in, grabbed me and kissed me. My friend came down and asked him what he was doing here and how dare he show up and ring the bell incessantly. Well my friend went up one side of him and down the other. Told him he was a sick bastard and to never show his face again etc. I ended up talking to xN and he was crying and sobbing and telling me he couldn't live without me and that he just wanted to reconcile and he couldn't understand why I didn't want to (we own the house together but he moved out three months ago because he was having a mental breakdown and did it because he couldn't be a goood partner and didnt want to cause me anymore pain...oh but didn't bother telling me he was moving out..just everyone else including the ex wife.....grrrr...Anyway he finally left and I haven't heard from him and I am hurting and want so desperately to contact him.....I know he will just move on without a thought but I don't know how to stomach that.....as you can see from the above, his behaviour is erratic and he is unstable so I half suspect I will hear from him again when he has no supply....I still am grappling with that whole concept. I bought Lisa's book and am reading the blogs etc. I guess I just need to give myself time. My friends are all rallying around me for support but geez this is excruciating. Thanks for letting me vent. At least on here I don't feel stupid still having feelings for someone who has treated me like crap.
You are going through withdrawal