All About Him Forum

This happened with the friend who knows him. She's on his FB friends list. Anywho. She texted me this morning, to see how I'm doing. I said Doing well.

Going to paraphrase from the texts...

Friend: You're not going to reach out to him, right Dee?

Me: No...I understand why he kept the pics up, but it's still weird to me.

Friend: You're dealing with a sick person, Dee. The ONLY reason he kept those pics up? Is to see if you looked at his profile. He's hoping you'll text him today, demanding to have them removed.

Me: I guess. I know you're right.

At the start of his dissapearance and NC to be by myself was so difficult. The silence in the room was too much for me. I wanted distractions yet couldn' find motivation to move myself off the sofa some days. My mind was intensely focused on him, on what happened, on those last conversations, on his behavior, and I was just getting a glimpse of the tip of the iceburg.

I was obsessive. I could not sleep. I would take sleeping pills, I would have a few glasses of wine I wanted to 'knock' my self out. I really didn't want to be 'here' anymore it was tooo painful.

Just being with my self was hard. Walking my dog I couldn't hear the birds chirp or see the sun shine anymore.

Being alone with suddenly so..alone.

Why would he NOT speak to me?

Why would he do this?

I think this time my narc has gone for good, (just over 6 weeks) he has never been silent for this long ! but i also feel it has ended... unless its just that im so clued up now that i have been on this site,and know his every sick trick,maybe he realises i know what he is...Has anyone had that feeling ? .... hes sooooo quiet,i think ive finally got rid of him.

CANDY XX

My friends say maybe he just met someone he really fell in love with fast and is going to marry her (because he posted pics of them on his FB after being with me 10 years and no pics). They say alot of these bachelor guys go with a woman a long time, don't marry and then suddenly meet someone that they change for. I do not believe this is the case with my N - I know him too well. I believe he thinks she is good for rebuilding his image and that he uses her for sex. He really does not like hanging out with women, he prefers the company of men.

I noticed that when things ceased between my narc and I that for a while before I went total NC we would have these email wars. He had a cell phone where he could access the net...and while with him he seemed somewhat "sane" until of course I suspected he was a NARC!! then I noticed that even in his text communications, his disorder even began to show in his writing...it was eerie!

What have been some of the doozies of written communication you've received?

In one - I think he was projecting...I was still in denial and thought I could help him...HA! hold on I just fell out of my chair in laughter...OUCH!

He sent me a text that said: "I'm sorry but I don't think this applies *my suggestion he might be borderline* just remember NOT to take your pills when you're drinking.

We must allow ourselves to feel. Often times, when in the midst of a breakup or divorce, we do not take the time to feel our feelings. That’s because when you experience trauma, you are often in survival mode. You’re trying to keep it together for your children and/or other family members. All your energy is focused on getting through the transition. It’s natural not to grieve while in survival mode. It's all a process. That is why it is so important to work the steps of relationship recovery to ensure you deal with your feelings now instead of being forced to deal with them in the future when you are not prepared.

Even though I have been here awhile, I read the boards for SO long before I actually posted and joined in. I am only 15 days NC. I have faultered and fell with it, some days I GET it, and other days I still feel like he must've really cared....he MUST HAVE!!! How could he have duped me like that!!!!
Anyway, this is a song that I listen to when I'm feeling down and it automatically picks me up. WE, these leadies sharing all their insights on these boards, are YOUR GIRLS!!!
Have a listen

You know how we discuss whether we should tell the "new" gal in his life about him? Most have indicated, we would be labeled crazy or she wouldn't believe it.

http://www.lisaescott.com/2010/11/15/crazymaking-behavior-narcissist

She's going on like nothing ever happened...
She doesn't care about the mess she's made of my life...
She doesn't care that she left my heart bleeding and almost dead....
She doesn't miss me...
She doesn't love me...
She hasn't missed a beat...
She took it all...and left when she couldn't squeeze out another drop...
She said we'll always have our memories...I want them back so I can destroy them...
I don't want her to have ANY of me anymore...
Feels like I can't breathe....
Crazy what simply seeing a picture of her can do :(