Closure

Today is 12 days no contact and 2 days blocked from FB and my phone. After my session with Goldie this morning I woke up and had an urgent need to seek closure ASAP. If the emotional closure is gonna take awhile I can at least control the physical closure...or loose ends. I filled out my forms for my annulment that have been printed on my nightstand for weeks. Tomorrow is a holiday but I will be filing at 8am Wednesday morning. My good friend is going to serve him and she contacted him to ask about a good time on Thursday. There was a long delay in his response (probably shock at the fact that I am no longer an option for supply) Because he is blocked we laughed and assumed the pause was him trying to text and hook me one last time. It is gratifying to know that if he did he only received a rejection that his text wouldn't go through. I'm not kidding myself that he cares but I am gratified that he knows I will no longer accept his abuse and I'm closing all doors of access. He knows that I will not be his "wife" and be available when the need arises. I know it's probably childish and wrong on some level but I hope her text arrived during one of his frequent pity parties and that this was the icing on the cake. Now he can call the OW and boo hoo to her about the crazy ex that kicks him when he's down. Lol...I smile at the thought that I'm the crazy ex and not the shoulder he's shedding his false tears on. I smile knowing that I'm no longer carrying his baggage and that the role of handler belongs to some other unsuspecting victim. Not that I wish him on anyone but I'm just happy it's not my job anymore. Not my monkey not my circus. I feel more empowered than I have in awhile. Right now I feel in control of my future. I'm taking action to remove myself from his hook. I'm sure my trip to the courthouse will bring a whole different set of emotion and I'm aware that I can't let anger or a vindictive nature fuel me for long, but today it's working. Once all doors are shut and locked I can truly focus on my healing and well being with no excuses, no unfinished business with him, and most important no strings tying me to him in any way shape or form. Once the court process is complete I can enter the new year Narc free and as the song says "Now you're just somebody that I used to know!"
Even if it lasted only a few moments I hope you got the wind knocked out of you tonight B or at least the realization that you will no longer possess the power to break my spirit. I am in control of my future and whatever happens to you now is no longer makes the cut on my list of priorities.