His Little Girl Unknowingly Told Me he Cheated

I see now how I was such a target for my Narcissist (but at the time I thought I'd dreamed him up, the perfect man for me) I see what I looked like to him - nice, but a bit wounded, low self-esteem, a normal single mom, a big time co-dependent. My God I was in the midst of ending my 17 year marriage to a deaf man. I thought I was washed up, but really I was so naive and void but yet my indicated to him that it would be fun to school me.

Only a couple months into the relationship big stressers in his life triggered manic like episodes. I was baffled. Blind-sided why he was so angry at me, what did I do wrong?? I wanted to help, rescue him from the shit that was happening to him as he told it. I began focusing on him big time (though thankfully never deprioritizing my 2 kids) but very much deprioritizing myself, my work, my family ... everything to 'work on' his problems. Which never ended. I encouraged him to get help, that he might have PTSD. Little did I know I helped him discover a great scam for himself (he prob did a little research and played the part perfectly) and received a diagnosis, exempting him from any rage outburst, or cruel behaviour. "Hey, its not me, its my PTSD."

For a year it was mostly amazing, never had anyone so intense and bonded to me. sometimes I was dizzy, but neglecting things like housework, which he would criticize me on. We didn't even live together. Christ! Who has time to be a solo single parent, an armchair councillor listening to his endless negative rants, and still cook & clean??? He expected it all from me. But we mostly laughed and talked endlessly and everything was more and better and he said nobody else feels what we feel. Not just soul mates ... soul-twins ... twin flames. He said we should get married, if I would move away with him, he would buy us a house. My kids thought he was Thor. My family embraced him. We completely loved and accepted his young daughter.

Then, his true colours started to come out in the 2nd year when he began accusing me of things, and snooping. Reading my e-mails, my fb I left open, texts on my phone. Making up stories I was cheating or I had never actually left my ex-husband that we were relationship sickos using him??!? ...Then it really went bad when he read my journal. In it I wrote all my darkest fears about him ... that he was mentally ill, that he might abandon his daughter with me, that he was bi-sexual and wanted things he acted out in the bedroom), that he was unstable, and I didn't want to marry him, and be the male influence in my 2 children's lives. (even now I feel a bit scared he could read this) But what upset him the most, was that I had noted he'd lost some of his impressive muscle mass. He was enraged and emotionally tortured me for this. I jumped through hoops to make it up to him. It would all be smoothed out if I could just keep proving that he was my one and only, and number one.

Then I had a pregnancy scare (oh thank the angels above I was not pregnant), so even though he had spoke such flowery pillow talk about how we should have a baby and how gorgeous it would be, and it would be a boy (he always a bit mad at his daughter for being a girl) and it would link our kids together to share a sib .... awww... but his reaction -- "You better find out if you are pregnant, because I'm not having another kid and screw me out of being able to pursue my career!"

He is a single parent too, and they have their own apartment, but he only enjoys her when she entertains him, or shows athleticism. Then he dumps her at his parents place so he can focus on himself.
would babysit her, and take her out, and have sleepovers and she became like my 3rd kid.

It was this little innocent 6 yr old who didn't know she was spilling the beans when she told me one day that Daddy's ex-girlfriend slept over two-nights in a row. Wow. That was it for me. I didn't accuse him of cheating, just said it was too big of a lie, and it was over.

I couldn't believe the angry shit-storm that came next. 38 texts, phone calls, freaking out on me, saying I was the liar, I was the cheater, that I was unstable, psychotic, and that I had hurt him emotionally and physically for the last time. When I blocked him ... what did I get. A nasty, poorly written text from HER the other woman accusing me of abusing his child She goes on to say she has been a silent partner in my relationship for a long time. Not so silent now I guess. This is horrible. I'm cuckold by these two nutjobs, and now getting attacked by them?! All I did was say its over. Called him on his lies. So if this all wasn't painful enough ... 6 days later I discover he's flown back east to see her?! I know he wouldn't pay top dollar to book a flight on such short notice ... this must have been planned before.

Since I read the book I've been sticking to no contact. Almost 2 months now ... until this week. But what do I do about that little girl, who was abandoned by her mother, and I was a mother figure to her for 2.5 years. Thats the hardest part to get over. Of course he's not concerned how my kids feel. But he's now e-mailing me that the little girl feels I've abandoned her. I know he's trying to manipulate me, but don't I have a karmic responsibility to the relationship me and the little girl had?

But now I'm rereading everything, fb stalking, waking up thinking about him and this little girl.

Re-hurting