Back into the fog

How do they do this? After breaking NC a couple weeks ago (he hoovered after a few months and I - oh no - responded), my xN honestly had me wondering if maybe I'd been reading this site too much and I'd been brainwashed by all the narc stories on here into thinking he's a narcissist. That maybe he wasn't a narc, but that I was projecting all I'd been reading onto every word he said, therefore of course explaining everything in the most negative way possible, not giving him an honest chance. For a few days, I wasn't sure I had been brainwashed by him or by reading too much narc stories. I guess that's the worst thing: I really didn't know what to think anymore, I doubted my own thoughts, my own judgment.

And then I realized that that is typical when dealing with a narc! Also, when I confronted him with his hoover attempt and 'translated' it for him (after reading all the info on this site for months, I can speak 'narc' now :-)) , his reaction was classic too: he became demeaning, lashed out and said stuff that he knew would hurt me.

I'm happy that I'm able to see that for what it was though - I was back into the fog, but only for a week. And it hurts a lot less then it would have several months ago. I realize that it was never really about me. But it's that bit that does hurt. So, I'm back to where I was before NC, only with additional hurt. Contact = Pain reconfirmed once again! I should know better by now. To him though, I think I managed to display indifference and a very clear message that I am never getting back together with him. I hope he stays away.