Positive Thinking

So I started seeing a therapist because I just wasn't getting any better and I think I made a break through this week. I learned that I have a lot of negative thoughts and dwell on them constantly. I couldn't figure out why I just couldn't get over him and move on with my life. He obviously had like we never had a relationship. My therapist told me that anytime I thought about him or bad things about myself (low self esteem) to replace it with a happy visualization such as the ocean. Yesterday I tried this and it takes a lot of work. I didn't realize how many negative thoughts I had about him and our relationship but especially about myself. I had lost him, his family, friends and my own sister after the relationship broke up. But in the end I gained myself. I couldn't even answer the simple questions about what I liked about myself never gave it much thought. Or what I liked to do, it was usually whatever he wanted to do. I had lost my identity. So I think the way to move forward from these relationships is to let them go do whatever makes them happy and for us to do what makes us happy. I still have a very, very long way to go but I think I am moving in the right direction. I could have never done this on my own. This site is great and I highly recommend seeing a therapist to speed up the recovery. No one likes to be miserable and no one should have to be miserable.