2 Years Divorced And Now the Tide Turns

Wow, when I just signed on it said I hadn't been online since April 2013. A whole year for me. A lot has changed in a year.

Just last year I was trying to leave the country, still in court repeatedly for his violation of my restraining order, and his constant filings of contempt with divorce court. I thought the hell would never end.

At my wits end, a very kind hearted/compassionate person I know, recommended I try to email him about forgiving each other. I had tried before to reason with him kindly, all met with rage. I told her I did not believe it would work. However, I did it anyways around May 2013. Not expecting anything to change.

Lo and behold, a month after emailing him that, and receiving a typical angry email in return, things did start to change. By August 2013, he had stopped all his pending filings and became very agreeable. That same month, he sent me several messages telling me I was a very good mother and he appreciates all I do for our child.

About 6 weeks ago, during a custody exchange (which we hadn't done ourselves for a year and a half, we always used proxies due to the intensely combative nature of the divorce), we actually had a conversation. Normally, we are civil but don't talk to each other. We both ended up in tears, him saying he missed me so much, and he kissed me on the cheek!

In the past couple weeks we've been very normal re: co-parenting but have sent a couple sentimental/very kind emails that deviate from talking about just co-parenting.

I am so confused. He seems different. Physically he looks AWFUL. It's like he aged 10 years. But I believe I still love him.

If I wanted this again, I know he'd come running.