Daisy Girl: A Metaphor

Daisy Girl:A Metaphor

Once upon a time, there was a girl… a normal girl, not a princess. She wasn't looking for anything or anyone in particular; she was just going about her business tending her daisies. You see, she loved her daisies; they were young and old, wild and tame, pale and colorful, but mostly they were just beautiful, and they were hers. .

One day a very handsome man entered her garden. He was funny, helpful, and charming.

The girl didn't think much about the man at first, but he kept coming around, spending more and more time watching the girl and her daisies. They became friends. Then one day the girl asked the man why he spent so much time in her garden. He immediately professed that he had been watching the girl for some time, and that he'd like to help her with her garden. She was skeptical at first. He had his own garden full of roses. He had even had someone helping him with his garden, but the man had asked that woman to leave. She was, according to him, a bad helper. This seemed reasonable. After all, the man WAS so good-hearted, not the kind of person who would lie about these matters. The girl was flattered. It was like a dream come true! This charming, handsome, kind man wanted to help her and be her partner. She agreed.

They began tending her garden together. One day, soon after, the man announced that he wanted help with his roses. Of course, the girl agreed; she loved all flowers and gardening! In no time, they were tending both gardens together; spending every waking moment together. The daisies and roses were lovely! And the man started calling her "Princess".

Most of the time, the man and the girl were very happy with her daisies and his roses. Tthe sun would shine, and they would laugh, and soon they were in love. But sometimes, the man would disappear, leaving the girl to tend her daisies alone. And sometimes, he would shut his gate and keep her out, without telling her why. It was a tumultuous affair full of laughter, passion, and activity, but also silence, confusion, and tears. For the most part, the good usually outweighed the bad.

Years passed, and the girl began to grow tired of tending two gardens. It was hard work, and they and the flowers were suffering. She asked if there would ever be a time when they would be together in one big garden with all their daisies and roses. She thought with just one garden to tend, they'd have more time with each other, and the daisies and roses needed each other and both of them. They would all have more time to just BE.

The man said he didn't know how to mix daisies and roses; he said he loved them all, but didn’t want to make that change...yet. The girl grew weary. Each day was full of more and more struggle and less laughter and love. She couldn't quite name what was bothering her, but she knew something about the man was different. Finally, she had told the man that things just didn't feel right between them, and he told her his secret.

He was a vampire.

He didn’t come right out and name what he was. Instead, he told her about himself. He explained his past, and his feelings, or lack thereof, and that no matter what she saw, things were not as they seemed. She was devastated. Things all made sense now. The secretiveness. The withdrawals to the darkness. His unwillingness to open up completely to her. He had been fighting this urge to suck the life out of her and throw her aside, as he had done with others before her.

She was reeling. They were caught. She loved him. He wanted to love her, but couldn't. Vampires don't love anyone. Not even themselves. They suck the life and light out of those they choose as their supply, in order to fill the empty vessels of their bodies where their souls should be. He hadn't used her yet. He was fighting his very nature to save her (and him) from himself. He was his own worst enemy, for he wanted every bit of her, but if he consumed her energy, there would be nothing left of her, and he'd soon be empty again. It was never enough. He thought she was his only hope in destroying the vampire inside him. What neither of them knew, at the time, was that no matter what she did, she could not save him.

While he thought his confession of ill-doings would make them closer, she knew this admission had been the opening of the floodgates. It was just a matter of time.

From that day forward, her already shaken faith in him was constantly being tested. She doubted, mistrusted, and questioned. She became a person that she, herself, did not want to be… a girl so afraid of, yet so drawn to the one man who had seemingly promised her everything “someday”, but would never be able to give it. She loved him, and she wanted to help him fix himself. She tried to build him back up to the man he seemed to be on the outside, the shell. But it never worked. He was always an empty vessel within. Oh, he tried. You see, vampires do not choose to be vampires. The scariest thing is, that even when they describe themselves as a vampire, they don’t use the word, and they will, in the very next breath, when called out on it, deny what they are.

They are victims, too. They are victims of their own lack of empathy and connection to something real. They live in shallow puddles. They can sense that if they dive into deeper pools with someone, and that person lets go, even for a second, they will sink to the bottom and die there, alone with their screams echoing though the hollowness of their empty souls. Some think it is a predisposition- bred into them. Others think they become vampires when someone they love destroys their trust and innocence, as a child. It makes no difference how they become. All that needs to be known is that they never, ever change.

The girl, as many who have fallen for a vampire do, continued to try to fight her fears and live with the vampire. She wanted to help him, but she could see that all the energy she was spending on him was taking away from her daisies. They hadn't been able to tend the flowers as they had wanted, because so much of their time was spent fighting over how to cure him of his desire to feed his empty soul and discard her, and him running to hide himself away from the light of her love. It burned him like the rays of the sun. He needed it, but he couldn't handle it. He would say he didn’t even trust himself, but was angry with her for not trusting him. They still spent some time with the roses and daisies, but it became harder and harder, and there was less joy and light. He had stopped calling her "Princess". She took notice, and she clung to him. She was as afraid of letting go as she was of hanging on. Either way, she was going to get hurt.

One day, the man gave the girl a ring and asked her to marry him, bring her daisies with her, and move into his garden. He asked her, "This changes everything, right?" By this he meant that her fears would subside, and she would trust that he would no longer be a vampire, as if her believing he was just a normal, decent man capable of love and happiness would actually make him one. She wanted this to be true. And he half-heartedly believed it was possible, or so it seemed.
She said yes, for living with him and all their flowers was all she had wanted since the day he had entered her garden. Deep inside, however, she knew that she wasn't the one who had to change. She was just a girl. He was the vampire. And the ring wouldn't change him. Nothing can change a vampire.

Months passed, and little changed. If anything, the vampire seemed to be growing restless, as if he needed to satisfy his lust for an innocent before giving it up for good. The girl sensed his restlessness and began spending more time with her daisies, and less time with the vampire. She sensed that the end was near, and she wanted to protect her daisies from the sudden impact when this all exploded like the ticking bomb it was. She didn't want to give up on him, and leave him in his misery to forever be a vampire, alone with no love, even from himself. She was worried about his roses, for they had become part of her life, too. She tried to hang on to some of the joy, and so did he. There were hopeful moments. But there were more and more times when they found themselves alone, even when they were together. He, the broken shell of a man whose heart had been eaten by the vampire. She, the scared, lonely girl who didn't know how to help or how to walk away. She didn't realize she was the one who needed help. To get free.

Eventually, the vampire couldn't take it any more. One day, he lashed out at the girl, telling her that she and her daisies meant nothing to him. That he only wanted his own garden and roses all to himself. The girl, shocked, left the ring for the vampire and vowed to become stronger, ready to focus all her attention on her own daisies again. She took her daisies and went away; she needed to see some good in the world, some beauty beyond her own small garden. But only for a little while.

He sought after her, and called out to her to come back, and she did. He seemed like the man she had once loved. On the outside. The man apologized, and smiled ,claimed he would change, no, promised to change, begging her to give him another chance. And she did. He asked the girl to run away with him for good, moving all their flowers to a bigger, better garden they could share forever.

The girl wanted to be with the man more than anything, but there was something whispering from within, telling her to run. She could see in the way he wouldn't look her in the eyes that the vampire was not gone. It was there, waiting, pretending to be the man she had fallen in love with. It was lurking there just inside the shell, sending the man out one last time to bring her back, so it could finish her.

The beast would not prevail. His ugliness couldn’t be kept inside. As it creeped out, little by little, the girl saw it, and this time she recognized it immediately. She turned her back on the vampire. She screamed. She cried. She lashed out at the vampire. She wanted desperately to rid her life of the evil that it was. It persisted.

She had to get away, once and for all. She stormed back to her garden and uncovered her own daisies. It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, to turn her back on the man she had loved, and the garden she had helped him create, and the roses that were hers now, too, or seemed to be. For as she looked back at the man, she saw not a man, but a little boy, afraid and alone, being devoured by the vampire. It was as the man had told her, without her strength and love, it would consume him. Her heart broke, but she knew her only hope for survival was to turn and run from the evil he was. It wasn't his fault, but it wasn't hers, either. He was beyond hope, but she wasn't.

To this day, the girl continues to tend her beautiful garden of daisies, with the help of other good souls who love her and appreciate the beauty she and her daisies bring to the world. Sadly, sometimes she sees the leers of the vampire and the other helpless innocents who have fallen prey to its charms. She sometimes tries to reach out and help them, but like the girl had been, its new victims are helpless to its power. The need it has to fill his soul will make it do and say anything they want to hear. The vampire is the ultimate emotional chameleon, changing its persona to entice its prey, to feed the vampire within.

All the girl can do is stay strong and be wise enough to know a vampire if she ever has the misfortune of meeting another. For the girl now knows, vampires are real, but real people are not vampires. There are good people in the world, but she had to rid her life of the vampire to make room for them. Good people and vampires cannot live in the same space for long; it is a toxic, unhealthy situation.

Meanwhile, she and her beautiful daisies enjoy their days together in her sunny garden of peace. As long as she keeps happiness in her heart, it will protect her like a shield against the attacks of soulless vampires wherever she and her daisies may roam. The girl walks through life with a smile on her face, not because she was saved by a prince, but because she was able to save herself from the vampire, and that is how her fairy tale life was meant to be.

SF January 7, 2014