Goldie's Support Group is literally transforming my journey

I've been quiet on the boards lately, because I have shifted my focus and obsessive thinking from the narcissist to myself. It's still not easy and there are moments where I feel myself sliding into old thought patterns, but I have found a couple of outlets that are my guideposts. Because let's face it, we gotta change the way we think so the healing and the inner changes have space to grow!

What if I told you that one of the most powerful tools I have been using is right under your nose? I have been participating in a support group, facilitated by our very own Goldie. As my team ( yes, that's right, I think of the ladies in my support group as my team) and I prepare for the next six weeks of transformation, I wanted to share a couple of things that came out of this that were unexpected.

First, "the team". I didn't know what to expect, I was a little nervous, and wondered how this truly would help. Goldie mapped it all out for us so any fears of not interacting with the group the right way disappeared--she's a great guide. One of the women "lurks" on the board due to privacy concerns, but she joined the group after having a one on one, because she felt it was a safe space. The rest of us are board members and all of us have forged a Sisterhood. We email and text each other when we are spinning, freaking out, doubting ourselves....or even to share things we are proud of. That was something I never would have expected. Real time support team!!!!

Second, the group activity itself...it's hard work but damn is it rewarding! The purpose isn't to breakdown every nuance and moment of our relationship with the narc. It's to address and understand WHY we stayed, WHY we allowed our flimsy boundaries to be trampled on, WHY we have self esteem issues. Because I don't want to go back to that dark place again, with him or anyone else. So we, as a group, identify patterns and behavior, and then once we understand the WHY, we move to the WHAT- what we need to do differently! I already see changes in my day to day interaction with the world. I'm AWARE. I'm in the moment. I am peaceful because I am in CONTROL...for the first time in a very, very, very long time!

I write this annoyingly long post because what I thought Group was going to be and what it acually is are not even remotely close. It's had such a profound impact on me I wanted to share my experience with you all. If you want to PM me with any more questions please feel free, I think I've said enough for now!

http://www.lisaescott.com/forum/2012/01/19/narcissist-recovery-support-g...

Xox

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