Dreams Story

My Soulmate Was a Fake

Hi everyone,

Thank you for reading my story and writing back to me. I'm still shell-shocked 3 weeks after my N discarded me. Still feeling confusion and loss - I hope getting this out will help.

I met my N on an online dating website. I was dating a couple of people at the time and him and I had written back and forth a bit, then I forgot about him and came back about 2 months later and we decided to meet up. Before we met up we began chatting online very often and texting. I loved talking to him online and reading his messages. It became like a drug to get online every night and connect with him. I was really enjoying myself.

We met on a Sunday afternoon at a park with him and his 2.5 year old son. He told me the mother was a crack head and not in the picture and it was just the two of them. I really liked his little boy too and since i'm 33 with no kids and single, I was very happy to be dating someone with a child. We had a good first date and agreed to meet up again.

In between our 1st and 2nd date there was about 10 days - in which we IMed everynight for 3 hours! Things were going so good and we had so much in common and so much to talk about. I did get perturbed one day when he was telling me lots of grandiose stories...saving his sister's life, being imprisoned, celeb stuff, getting near perfect SATs etc...just things that really didn't add up and I had a deep feeling of dissapointment before the 2nd date - thinking "I can't go out with him - he is a pathological liar" I felt really sad and was really considering breaking our dinner date.

I decided instead to go ahead and to ask him about his stories and I did in a round about way in which he admitted to 'exagerating' and 'mixing up his facts'. Since he admitted to some things being exagerated, I let it go and chalked it up to his 'interest in folklore' etc...I let it go.

We had a great 2nd and 3rd date and by the time of our 4th date - he asked me very sweetly if I would be his girlfriend. He told me that when he committed to someone he really committed to them and he wanted to keep me around and had fallen really hard for me. I was in HEAVEN. I said yes and we continued to go out. Things were happening fast and we were texting everyday - he was texting me or IMing me at night. He was so sweet and SO cuddly and affectionate.

I thought I was finally finding the ONE. So we were seeing each other for a month and had a great night together. I hadn't slept with him yet and we almost did on this night. He also told me that night I could stop by his place whenever I wanted and he loved having me around. I was also getting much closer to his toddler son. Every time we were together was with the child as well and I was loving this connection to the little boy. So we had a great evening - we were sexual, but didn't have sex yet. I left that night feeling great and thinking the next day that we were finally really solid. Since it had been so heavy so fast, I was worried he could turn, but at this point I was like we are great!

After that he didn't text one day - which was the first....then I texted back and we went from texting everyday to NOTHING. For FIVE DAYS - I texted him each day just once and got no response. On the 5th I lost it and sent about 10 texts. Later that night I got a text that said 'Since you have texted so much I dont have much interest in talking to you, I can't be seeing anyone right now, my son hasn't been happy with the divised attention' I pleaded to talk - I called, I texted NOTHING.

He went from being 110% ON and into me to being NOTHING - no contact for 5 days and then breaking up with me.

I've been shattered trying to figure out hte pieces. The pathological lying re-entered my head and the way he always was a victim - victim of the ex-gf, victim of the ex-wife, victim of losing his job...etc He was also almost 40 and had never held a job for more than 1.8 months anywhere.

Basically I think I got the Idealization, Devalue and Discard. It has been about 3 weeks and our relationship was only a month - but I'm having a very hard time getting over it - since he never treated me badly! He just threw me away! I'm very sad about it all - but trying to remember his 'tall tales' and all of that. I just hate being ignored so much and I still MISS him s much and wish he would take me back.

Your words would be appreaciated. Thank you!