Darlene's Story - The early years...

The early years...

I've allready posted the story of xn....the more time goes on, I think back....to what brought me to where I am now....

When I was 23 (i'm now 53), I married a man 16 years older than me...at the time, I didn't recognize all the signs of an alcoholic....but they were there....

He was soooooo romantic....I remember one time after leaving his house, we were on the highway in separate vehicles....he pulled over, so I pulled in behind him thinking he had car touble...he came to my window and said "I just missed you"...and gave me a kiss....WOW!!!!!

I married this man....divorced him....moved back in with him.....10 years total dance time....When I left him, he burned our house down....to the ground....

I had him court ordered into rehab (not an easy feat)....

And he resented me for the rest of his life....he died alone, probably drunk, and hating me....

During the 10 year dance, I became such a wonderful enabler....the best....

I taught myself that bad behavior was acceptable....

As long as I could "fix it"....

30 years later....2 abusive husbands later....I'm done with "fixing".....

One narc later, I'm working on being co-dependent no more...

I can't fix anyone....I'm worn out with 30 years of trying....

I'm fixing me....

Just some ramblings tonight....