Simba68's Story

My story

I met my ex N at a birthday party 3 years ago . He followed me round all night trying to chat me up & his boasting about how he used to have a Mercedes and 3 business , big house etc etc. He got on my nerves so much I actually left the party early . 
He found me on fb , asked me out said he had been to football that day ,had been drinking &  apologised for being over the top but could he take me out for a meal so I could get to know the real him . 
I went and boy he was so charming , so nice , listened to me , showed a real interest in me ,my life , kids etc. i couldn't believe my luck , how i nearly let thus wonderful guy slip by me. 
He had an other son in his 20's & a 11 year old daughter from his marriage . His wife had left him for his best mate after 20 years of marriage . He had lost his home , business , and money due to his wife leaving him.
 After his wife left he met a younger woman who Fell pregnant on purpose to try & keep him , he was never happy with her , they didn't get on . According to him ... He was the love of her life & could not accept he didn't want her but had the baby as a way to trap him , after he told her he didn't want any more children . 
The girlfriend before me , he was with less than 2 years . They rented a house together in her name , after 2 weeks of living together she was so awful to his 11 year old daughter he walked out on her . This girlfriend stole all his money as he didn't have a bank account so he used hers.  stole his furniture , everything from him . I was convinced he had just had a run of bad luck . All his exs were psycho bitches from hell !!
He then lodged at a mates house which is where he lived when I met him. 
He dressed in designer clothes , which is all he told me he had managed to save from his money grabbing exs . 
We carried on seeing each other , he called me all the time , texted , cooked for me , loved my kids ( only my 17 year still lived at home ) took me out to some lovely places . He was so charming , so polite , had so many friends mostly in different towns & countries who he had met though football trips. he seemed so popular . His mates loved me , said I was just what he needed in his life .
After 2 months he had to move out his mates . He said he had a flat to go to but would not be ready for a few weeks so I suggested he stayed with me till it was ready. He never did get the flat & ended up living with me !
Life at first was great , he introduced me to his friends , we went on holidays , we were always going here , there & everywhere ! I thought i had found my soul mate .He told me he loved me more than any woman he had been with . That his daughter loved me like mum. I got on brill with her at first but in the end if daddy was in a mood with me , she would not speak to me either . 
He was fantastic with his daughter , which at first i found great . He said she was like this rock , stand in wife . He took her everywhere when he had her , which was quite a lot of the time. He spoke to her like an adult , discussed everything with her . Was so over the top with her . She idolised her dad. 
He was not so great with his 3 year son but still had him every other weekend but said he found it hard to bond with him like he did his daughter . He didn't want another child at the age of 47 . I never spoke or met this his younger sons mother as he said she hated me , was jealous that he loved me much .
For the first 6 months sex was ok but it was with the lights off , missionary position and i wasn't allowed to speak . Then  he hardly ever wanted sex , maybe every fortnight but only if he wanted it . I asked him what was wrong , if he had stopped fancying me ? His reply was he could go into any pub in town and get sex if he wanted too . He had no problem , woman loved him alway had ! It wasn't the most important thing to him  in a relationship , I was sex mad . I was insecure and needy. 
He loved his football trips abroad with his mates . As you can image it was costing so much to live this life style . As he didn't have a bank account I took out serval loans which he said he would pay back as by this time he had a good job.  I also got him a phone contract , his son a laptop contract and a phone contract for his daughter .
Just after 18 months of living together we were out at a soul night & as normal he was the life & soul of the party . He started dancing with this woman , really getting close . This went on for a while , all over each other . I pulled him to one side asked him what the hell he was playing at , he went into a complete rage shouting at me "if I didn't like it , then f**k off home ! I was jealous , needed to sort myself out stop spoiling the night " I was so embrassed , shocked that he could speak to me like that in front of everyone I cried ! I apoligized for my behaviour !! That was the start of the downward spiral !
After that he would be nice to me one day then the next I would only have to say something wrong he would explode at me , pack his bags and walk out on me .
He would shout at me in front of his daughter , tell me I brought the worse out in him.
He would threaten to leave me most weeks , walk out on me . He would start a row over nothing , call me fat , ugly , bring up private things from my past which i had told him in confident ,say the most vile awful things to me ,anything to reduce me to tears , say living with me was a nightmare then call my daughters , my mum tell them he couldn't cope with my mood swings , my temper . They would turn up find me a complete wreck and him being all lovely and charming to them saying he called them as he was so worried about me , he loved me so much he would stand by me help me sort myself out !!! He would spit in my face in temper , strangle me to the point of me passing out . He punched a door in my face during a row and broke my eye socket & cheek bone . I told people it was an accident. He said if i didnt wind him up we wouldnt row  . I was making him mad , he had never been out with anyone as bad as me . I was ruining his life . I was making him lose his looks . He wanted a lady not a crying stupid wreck . Other times he would walk out on me  then I would then drive round in my car all night looking for him , find him at a mates or his mums beg him to come home , he would say I had to change my ways , get help as he thought I was mad , I was jealous , insecure , needy , not the woman he first met... I prob was by then ! 
. I even went to the doctors to get the jab to stop my periods as he said I had PMT for 3 weeks of the month . I was always at the doctors asking them to help me but they said after blood tests I was fine . Maybe my job was making me stressed .
I have a very responsible job as a area manager . My work was suffering , I was by that time a mess . Always crying . My life was spinning out of control .  I loved him , was so scared of losing him , promised I would change into the person he wanted . Would of done anything to keep him and he knew it . I had given up my friends , my daughter had moved to her boyfriends house so his daughter & son could have her bedroom when they stayed.  Basically my whole life was doing what he wanted , going where he wanted . He was alway telling me how lucky I was to have him and if he left me I would never find another man to love me or take me places he took me . I would be on my own a sad lonely old woman with just my cats as no other man would fancy me , want me.
To the outside world we were the perfect couple , he was a great laugh if front of family & friends , was in love with me one minute , angery the next . great with his kids , my kids , always having weekends away which always involved football matches. 
By the second year money was tight for me, he loved to spend , clothes for daughter , drinks for everyone when out , he loved to impress people . For everyone to thing he was a fantastic guy . He loved to be loved by everyone.
, I was paying all the bills , i took more loans out to help pay the ones I already had. I had a company car , he wanted a new car a BMW so I took out more finance to get him this car. In the January before he left , he wasn't happy with the flat I lived in ,  he wanted a bigger better place . My now my parents had started to see thought him , my mum was like move into his place if he doesnt like your flat.... Oh yeah he doesnt have a place !!! 
I was holding him back in life . He was going places . He wanted a better life for us . By now he had been promoted at work .  I found a bigger place for us which needed loads of work doing to it.  He was happy with this even tho he never came to view the house. 
A month before we moved things got better between us he seemed happy to be moving . He even asked me to marry him. I thought moving would bring the nice guy back . 
Two weeks before we moved I came home from work earlier than I was going too. He was having a drink with his boss after work . I tried to call him ask him to bring a takeaway In but no reply . 
He came home a few hours later happy as. I asked him why he didn't answer his phone , he went mad at me . He dragged me to the mirror by my hair , told me I was a fat lump( i had put on 2 stone) ,he hated me & look what he had had to put up with for the past 2 years. 
He left that night , wouldn't answer his phone for 3 days . He called me and asked to borrow the car or he couldn't get to work. He would give me some money and if I sorted myself out he would come back but needed some time on his own for a week or so . I packed all his stuff up which he took to his mothers house.  I got no money from him , I stopped his phone & our bank card . He had empty our bank account of all the money . He called the police on me for cancelling my bank card . They were great they actually brought my car back . They said he was a very angry man !
I spoke to his ex who he said hated me , he told her the same . Cheated on her when she was 8 months pregnant . Treated her the same as me . But never hit her.
2 weeks after  I moved on my own  , he posted the contract phone back to me , the only stuff on it were messages between him and another woman telling her he loved her 2 days after leaving me. She mentioned how sorry she felt for him After the hard time he had had with the psycho bitch...me ! I wanted to die , I was crushed . He Was living with her in a 5 bed house , she is 16 years younger than him , stunning , slim , parents are rich  , beautiful car , oh and large divorce settlement coming her way. She also has 3 young children.
He told everyone and emailed friends & his family telling them I had been sectioned under the mental health act , abused my children , tried to stab him , tried to kill myself . 
He has finally found the woman of his dreams , true happiness. It was all lies !
I called him to get answers , I got none , I drove him away it was all my fault and he would marry her tomorrow. He was so matter of fact . Oh and he was a bit worried about losing he's looks later on and she might not fancy him as much ....  What did I think ?? He actually asked me that !!  
That was the last time we spoke . 
I sent ow a message telling her what he was like .... He came to my new house , trying to smashing his way into my new house , swearing & shouting abuse at me. He was arrested , fined . 8 months on he is still with her , had 5 holidays together , loves her kids like his own . loved right up. That I'm mad that's why he left me . He is doing everything  for her . 
 I am struggling financially even tho I earn good money, paying loans his contract phones etc . He has not paid me a penny towards them . 
I feel so lost without him , so jealous of ow ,of how he is treating her like a princess. I on obsess about her . I have lose 3 stone in 8 months 
Why do I feel so depressed ,unhappy ,jealous & lonely ?? Still after all this time . 
I was a confident , happy woman before I met him , now I am a wreck !