Warrior's story

English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for the inevitable wrong spelling/phrasing.
I met my narc at work. I had been expatriated as a multinational director to a new country and moved with my husband and kids. I was in a sad marriage with no passion or sex and met this guy. He was married, too. He was shy, charming, great smile, but somehow strange, aloof, a lonely wolf. He invited me to have lunch and we connected pretty well. we got very close, we had a lot in common and I became very attracted to him. Once he suggested that we should have sex and when I said that it was not my intention to cheat on my husband he became furious. Anyway, we ended-up in bed.
Many red flags I chose to ignore. When he talked about his past relationships, he did it in a cold, rational and distant manner. I've questioned him, but he said that it was because it all happened a long time ago. He cheated on every girlfriend he had and also on his wife. He was very self-centered. I remeber that once he asked me if I thought that he was an egoistic person and I answered that being egoistic requires acknowledging the existence of other's people needs, which didn't happened in his case. I said it in a humourous way, but now I see that I could see through his mask since the very beginning.
Six months on the relationship and I decided to divorce. Cheating on my husband was not a confortable place to me and I faced a very tough divorce as I was lonely and 10,000 km from home. He always said that he could not divorce, his father (a violent narcissist) would not accept it. It was weird coming from a 46 years old guy, but as he had had a terrible childwood and an attempt to suicide when he was 14 years old due to his father's violence, I took it as the outcome of his trauma.
Two and a half years after, his wife discovered that he was cheating and confronted him. He left his home the same night. At this time, his father had passed away.
Although he was separated, we didn't spend weekends together and he was not introducing me to his family or few acquaintances (he doesn't have real friends). It was like I wasn't good enough for him, he was very concerned about what other people would think. It was odd because I am a good looking woman with a great job, but I was a foreigner and he thought I was not socially acceptable or made me feel so. One day we were in bed, talking about the future and I told him that I didn't understand why I was never in the picture of his future plans, that may be he didn't loved me enough. Following day, he discarded me by sms. I suggested that we talk, but he didn't answer. I couldn't understand what was happening. I thought I was going to die, I lost my sense of reality. How the guy that was my best friend, my lover, just discarded me as an old pair of socks, as if he had pressed an off button.
I went to therapy and my therapist told me he is a narc. I started reading about narcissism and all became clear. He re-appeared in a desperate-obsessive way 6 weeks later. I was decided to go no contact and resisted 150 call a day and an average of 50 messages from "I love you" to insults, crazy cocktail. Sadly, I took him back. Rest of story came this way: during a couple of months I was idealized again. Now I was his official girlfriend and he seemed very proud of me, introducing me to every one. It is important to say that at that time I had accepted a very visible and aspirational new job in another company. At some moment, I felt that he was becoming aloof and initiating the devalue process and I broke-up with him. Rinse and repeat. He came back, cried as a child, told me I was the love of his life and I took him back. Last time, 2 months ago, he started withdrawing sexually, which was odd, because we always had a great sex life. It was subtle. It was like a leaf moved and I felt the storm coming. I broke-up with him with the excuse that I thought that our relationship became cold and that this was not what I wanted.
I am sad, suffering, but I don't want to go back to this dark place. But sometimes I feel like I will never recover from this soul rape. I feel empty and I cry a lot. Thank you for reading this.