Nothing he has is real with her, either. Just remember who he is. What he is. It's never going to be 'real' with anyone.

Just because the backdrop looks different, doesn't mean they change. They just do what they gotta do to secure the new supply, to get the new supply attached to him/her. Once that's achieved, the narc games begin.

Trust me, they don't change. How he treats her isn't better. She's a different woman, with different interests, so he will do what he needs to, to get her attached to him, as he did with you.

I understand your anger, and sadness. In time, it will pass. In the meantime, grieve and mourn this, and learn how to process it PROPERLY. Because that is key to healing.

And he will hoover. They all hoover. Just stay NC, and smile when that happens. And remember where you read that! :=P

Have a good day, narc-free!

I am sorry you are going through this and I understand the pain you are feeling. I was with my N for two years and he never wanted to do anything with me, such as go on trips, meet my friends, etc. but he is now doing all of those things with the OW who he's known for a couple of months. Plus, he's planning on moving to her state very soon. He shows more preference towards her and I recently bore his child. My biggest fear is that they'll live happily ever after at the expense of me and my son's misery. But he only cares about himself. Just keep moving forward. It's difficult now but things will get better.

I love your name and any sorry you are going through this. You did the absolute right thing but blocking him in every possible way. This journey of healing ia all about you now.

Narcissism is a personality disorder with no treatment. There is no medicine he can take or any actions you can do that will change his behavior. He is what he is. Please, now join us at our second home and begin your education on this disorder. Start with Lisa's books and there are many others you can explore as well as you go along. Lisa's book both outlines the disorder as well as steps to take through the recovery process.

I personally recommend therapy to those who have been sucked into the psychopathic wrath. NC is only the first step. It serves as a detox for clear thinking. We need to do some deep needed exploring in order to recognize unhealthy patterns and to develop boundaries so we can have healthy and productive relationships in the future. There is a hell of a lot of hard work to be done but it is definitely worth it. You owe it to yourself!

Stay close to the forum, there are many lovely, supportive and honest people here to guide you during your journey.

Most importantly,
Stay true to you!

Janie

He is really trying to hook her, that is why he is becoming friends with her friends, etc. It seems to me that they do different things to HOOK the poor victims... What they find is necessary to put the new victims under their spell so they are the great guy. Mr. Charming at the beginning so it is harder to leave. So when his true colors start to show the victim will desperately want the charming guy from the beginning back since it is so wonderful at first. That is what happened with me.

They change their minds. Mine literally told me he loved me so much and was obsessed with me, etc. and kept his act up literally up until the day he ended our longterm relationship and short engagement on the phone. They are the most confusing breed of people I've ever come across in my entire life.

Don't rule out a hoover. It is a scary reality that he could come back. He might find his new victim requires more of his time, etc. or she won't play his game and he might be back. Who knows. But, prepare yourself. There is absolutely no rhyme or reason with these guys.

By the way, my didn't make friends with my friends either. In the years we were together, he met about 5 or my friends... it was all about him. But, his previous gf he made an effort with her friends. It is all about what we require of him... In my case it wasn't much. He got away with everything and had to make a minimal effort. UNTIL the end when I stopped putting up with it... And making him answer... Then came the d&d...

Hi, if I had my way I would nuke the bloody lot

Have you seen the film, throw mama from the train?

Let's do it Lol

Brit x