CeeCee's Story

My Story

The short version is, the so called relationship started a little over a year ago. It started out awesome, he was so attentive and was so interested in my thoughts, feelings etc..he was so polite and kind and a gentleman. I had noticed though that he was not interested in sex and was celibate for a long time, which was fine by me and I thought it was special and very nice to wait for marriage. We hit it off perfectly, it was all like a storybook. He never yelled or any of that.

Then slowly things started to change, he always seemed to have a problem and was always worrying that people were out to get him in some way. He had a terrible relationship with his parents and whenever he would fight with them, mostly his mom, he would take it out on me. I started feeling like he thought I was his mother. The silent treatments soon started on and off and for no reason that I knew of. He ignored me so severely that I started to doubt my own sanity. I started wondering if I was imagining things because how can he be this wonderful man one minute and then disappear without warning?? I would beg him to answer me and I got stone cold silence. Then he would suddenly come back and act like nothing happened. When I would ask him why he did it he would say that he had to think of himself and he didnt have time to think of anyone else. I did not understand that reasoning but when questioning him of this he sort of twisted my own words and played word games and confused me even more. Does anyone understand what I mean? I can hardly put into words what his responses were because they were so confusing.

Soon came anger, he started yelling at me for no reason. Angry all the time, scary angry and he would talk about his parents and how angry he was at them and that he wanted to hurt them at times. I tried to comfort him the first dozen times he would be that way but soon the nicer I was the meaner he became. He then started to be critical of me and my every move. I could not do anything right.

He had gone from a nice person to this mean cold angry man that I did not even recognize. He talked only about his needs, his desires. Everything focused on him. He would say that he only cared about his life and what he wanted. If I got a cold, he would get angry. If I got sad, he would get angry. If I cried he would mock me and pretend to cry back at me as if I were a pathetic joke. I was shocked at all of it because it came out of no where. It was like over night someone came and replaced the guy I loved with some stranger.

He hates women. He says that he does not need one, has no need for one.

He would tell me that he did not want to be with me but then if I went to move on he would get angry and say that I will never find anyone like him and that it was my loss but at the same time he did not want me. I still do not understand that reasoning either. If you dont want someone why would you be angry that they are moving on?

It was all confusion which is why I am having trouble articulating what happened. He started talking about killing people too but even then I do not know if he was serious because he never hit me, he just would sort of make these veiled threats or he would imply things but never directly threatening me personally.

All I do know without confusion is that it is all about him. His job, his looks, his money, his car, his hobbies. He seems so insecure and yet so in love with himself.

Does this sound like a Narcissist? I at times wondered about paranoid personality disorder, then Schizophrenia. Uh, it is all so confusing.

By the way, he is 41 years old.