Imagine standing at a $5 slot machine with $10,000.
And you stand there putting in $5 and hitting the handle. And you do it over and over and over, and then maybe you win $20, and then you decide to double it and put even more in there to get a bigger payout, and you do it over and over and over and over and you hit $20. And you stand there forever and you look down and have only $100 left and say, “well, shoot, I am going to keep trying until I hit the big one”.....and you put in $20, then $10, then $5, and you do it over and over and over and keep hitting that handle in hopes of a payoff.....and then next thing you know, all of it is gone, you feel lost, deflated, uneasy, anxious, scared, and you have nothing left. So you go to the bank and get more cash, because you just know you are going to win....repeat.
I kept putting so much into this relationship and never got a ‘payoff’....he sucked everything out of me. And he will do it to the next gambler. They are no different than me...
I stood at that slot machine for 3years, and today, I am 40days NC and I am finally getting some of myself back. I am so absolutely, positively DONE hitting that machine.
Once a slot machine, always a slot machine, they will ALWAYS TAKE. Once a gambler, well, you can change that...get help and quit going back to what is ruining your life and taking SO much from you.