Lynn's Story

Hello,
I am new here and figured Valentine's Day would be a good time to share my story as well as starting my first day of NC.

When my husband came into my life I was a strong working independant single mother of a child with ADHD. We met through a friend and even though my instincts told me to run, I ignored them and all the red flags. He lied from the beginning, said he was a professor at a local college ( I knew he was lying, but felt sorry for him ), said his father recently died ( also knew it was a lie )promised to love me and my daughter forever and to never leave us, was so charming and romantic. I still had reservations about giving him my heart completely and he knew this and finally I came to a point where I gave in and loved this man with everything in me. That of course is when everything changed. I suspected opiate abuse but couldn't prove it. I finally got enough courage to ask his Mom and she lied to me and told me he has never had a problem that she knew of. I recently found out that not only did he have a problem but she had even taken him to the hospital for an overdose. For the next three years he lied, drank, abused narcotics and I still stayed, then even married him. He has never missed an opportunity to belittle me, call me names, blame me for every single fight. He never apologizes and I now feel as though our whole five years together was a lie. He was never really married to me because his real wife was his mother. She has a private bank account she keeps hidden from his father just to support him if he needs it. His father hates him and won't speak to him. He always told me how is ex wife was crazy and drained their bank account and always spent their money, told me that the anger/abuse he expressed towards me he never expressed towards anyone else so it must be MY fault that he is so angry. I recently found paperwork that shows he is the one that drained their bank account, spent all their money and was abusive to her as well, she had a restraining order on him. She left him stating he is a pathological liar. He hasn't seen his daughter in 10 years. Three weeks ago we got into a huge fight and after he punched some holes in the walls, I threw him out. I thought he would leave and cool down and then come home but he went to stay at his sister's and proceeded to find his NS there.. he told lie after lie about me, he would call me from his sister's cell phone and when I called him back would yell at me, basically having a one sided conversation for his sister's benefit "why are you calling me ?! You can't call this phone!! what do you want?? I told you I am busy, I don't have time for this !!" etc. or even worse at times saying "I told you .. you are not to come by my sister's house!!!" making whoever was listening think I am stalking him, or threatening to go to his sister's. I asked him if he wants a divorce and he responded with " I will wait on YOUR progress to see!"

I am now an unemployed, depressed, anxiety ridden mess that can barely get out of bed long enough to write this. I have gained 30 lbs since I have been with him, a fact he never fails to insult me about. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year and I am her caretaker when I can't even take care of myself. I feel that this man came and sucked the life out of me like a fricken vampire and left nothing but a crumbling mess behing.