Before I Left Him & Facebook & The B.S. with ex-girlfriends

I'm just posting this for informational or anecdotal reasons.

Maybe it will help someone who had a similar experience.

Before I left him, long before I figured out what it was that was wrong with him - (If only I had known what term to Google - I would've been so much better off.) I was snooping around. Was he having an affair? Doing drugs? So I looked through his email when I could. And I looked through facebook emails. And never found anything meaningful. But one thing I found was just SO WEIRD.

He had this old girlfriend. So long ago. And I had heard some stories about her. No big deal. He wrote her this 'hi, how are you?' email, where he went on and on and on and on about how great his life was. And especially how great I was. Me. Me - the one he screamed at - ranted and raged and threatened. Get out of the house! - the constant divorce threats. How defective I was, how sick I was (mentally ill). But he's writing his long ago ex-girlfriend how wonderful, talented, beautiful and what a great mother I was. I think he even gave details of some projects I was working on - like why on earth would she care?

And she wrote something back, that was sort of polite, but she wrote like, why are you telling me all this crap? Why would I care? She said it really nicely, but she was also telling him - look here, Stupid, don't bother me.

He didn't write her back.

And here's another thing, now that I'm writing this, I realize this is the same crap that he did with our friends/family (not that I believe a word he ever said). After I left him, for more than a year, he would write me these LONG emails where he would try to get me to come back. And one thing that stuck in my brain: he said that everyone was really shocked when I left him, because he had never said a bad word about me. ??? He always played the Crazy-Wife card with people, but it was more for sympathy, I think. Like, he got to be the sainted and long-suffering husband, so caring and EMPATHETIC --- what a great guy, a HERO, so tolerant. b.s. b.s. b.s.

But maybe so. Maybe he never talked crap about me, because he wanted everyone to think that he had some perfect life. And I blew his cover when I left. He's really been MAD about that. I ruined his narrative. I ruined the story line of his life.