cdngemini's story

CL's Story

Well I had just come out of a year healing from a 18-year marriage to someone I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with.....until the mid-life crisis hit. He got the new girlfriend, new sports car and off he went.

So I bought a new house, started my life and for the first time I went on line in search of someone different. I dated a few, not really my type when I started chatting with someone that I connected with from the moment my first key hit the keyboard. Let's call him D.

So D and I came from the same background - meaning we were both adopted, both came very bad childhoods and both divorced. Only difference was he got married older (35) and only married for 3 years. When I married young (23) and married for 18. I should have seen the red flag then......but we met and soon my life changed.

This is where the true story begins.

He lived with his friend, renting a 10x10 room. He's broke (48k) and doesn't have furniture, actually not owning a thing except for his expensive clothes. He went out a lot at restaurants, charged everything.....again I should have seen all the red flags, but I didn't. Then the controlling started. The way I dressed, the way I looked, my hair wasn't long, so he told me to grow it....and so on and so on. Again, being blind. He told me that he dated many women that didn't understand him, didn't get who he was, yet told me I did.

We dated for a year and then we decided he would move in since he was spending every single night with me anyway. He moved in middle of November until the day I went into his phone (January 3) and saw that he was on-line dating. I kicked him out.

During our time dating he always wanted me to change, always wanted me to get 'fixed'. I was like a little secret in his life, didn't really meet his friends, only his birth mother. He was always on his phone, he was always talking about his work, his feelings, and always wanted me to listen, to fetch his meals, do his laundry, clean the house while he just sat. And I did - stupid me did it. He had it made. So why would he do this?

I found out I was 10 weeks pregnant the day before I opened his phone. Didn't tell him until I kicked him out. He was so happy, yet knew that we were no longer together. I lost the baby over a week ago - he came over for about 1 hour to try and comfort me and then left for hockey. Again all about him.

He still has all his things at my place except for his clothes........what does this mean? Controlling, thinking he might come back if one of these other women don't work. OMG - I read this website and all of a sudden everything came clear - this was him

HELP ME - I need to feel I have my life back -