Hayley23's Story

Hi,

New to this forum and in the Recovery from an EUM/N.

I met him at a party through mutual friends. At that stage I wasn't feeling great about myself, had put on a bit of weight and was confused about life's direction. He obviously could smell it as he stared at me all evening then made his move.

Told me he was recently 'seperated' and that his ex was awful. Also told me he had a 5yo child from a previous relationship, and that ex was 'crazy'. Hmmm. He followed me around all night and then programmed his number into my phone. The next day he was texting me, and the following day he asked me to meet up. He was attentive and showered me with attention, though our 'dates' were never planned in advance always on the day....hmmm

Anyways this continued on and about 1.5 months later I got a series of abusive texts from his girlfriend! No separation there they were in fact living together! I told him to beat it.

A few months later I got a series of blocked number calls at an odd time, I finally answered and it was him, saying he was 'leaving' and hoped we'd spend time together. Stupidly I accepted except this time I fell into the trap of sleeping with him. Initially he was showering me with attention for about a month, then it started..... as soon as I called him I was 'demanding, whingy and a psycho'. This came from nowhere! He also made weird comments, like entering into my house and commenting straight away on my knife block 'I wouldn't want to make you angry, Hayley'. He left his gf then kept pushing things back, saying 'he needed time and didn't want to rush things'. I started getting angry, coming back at him for all the put downs. He also started the games, ignoring my texts then getting back to me as it suited him.

I then found out from a mutual friend a lot more about his past, and that I wasn't the only one he'd cheated on the GF with, and in previous relationships he'd had multiple women, one night stands and flings. I felt like I'd been hit by a brick. When I confronted him he denied it and said that people got their facts wrong. He constantly used to suggest I see a psychiatrist and that I was hopeless and if I 'wasn't so psycho we'd be so happy together '. He threatened to make a complaint about me to my job, to make a Facebook page about how much of a psycho I was , and to get a restraining order against me. He also said he'd deleted my number. I should have seen the Red Flags a mile away, particularly one time when he told me he'd screamed at an employee at work (he's a manager) then got in trouble by his boss, and that 'he can't wait to run his own company so he can speak to people as he likes, and no one can do anything about it'.

To cut a long story short he then found another suitable doormat, I again was 'left' but yet he continued every now and then to attempt recontact mainly from blocked numbers. I reciprocated contact a couple of times, only then to have it dawn on me that it's all just a power game of control for him. I requested him not to contact me again, only to have him claim 'he'd rebooted his IPhone and had two Hayleys in there and those messages and call weren't meant for me'. He then said he was deleting my number and took a screen shot of his phone with a text from me plus number deleted.

Ga what a joke! Looking back now I can't understand why I allowed myself to become part of the whole circus, but I see now how good those Antisocials/N's are at playing their games. He neve had any empathy, it was always me apologizing. I really hope he has deleted my number but if not NC will be the Path Forward.....