I am an ACON - both parents! NM is covert, repels people- incapable of sustaining meaningful relationships with peer or children and unable to have dialogue only monologues for that matter (MC for me); NF is publicly charming,social, extremely athletic, however abusive at home- verbally to our mom but emotionally to us kids growing up (still is an unavailable emo). Abuse is abuse! I just got the silent kind. I have 3 Nsibs sisters.
One PA Nsib is my immediate neighbor. We usually get along, but just as long as she doesn't see me too happy! It disturbs me when she becomes so unsettled if and when her perception of me is, self-sufficient while making choices that feel comfortable to me. This seems to undermine HER sense of self resulting with her condescending dogmatic tone trying to get back some power she feels lost. I do however appreciate she is there for me on the occasion when I have an issue with something but I'm resentful she doesn't have the capacity to be happy for me when things are great which is most of the time. I struggle in silence to keep the harmony.. hiding my confidence and contentment with my life choices. I've had a bumpy journey but no regrets either because my experiences in my life has made me a better person. Why does this irritate her so? IDK... but since realizing, I decided to reevaluate and diversify my support system although it is a work in progress!
Another Nsib sister lives across the street from the house we grew up in. Denial is her middle name along with repressed feelings and the silent treatment for months if ever confronted with anything she perceives as critical, which is everything that is not a compliment. MC for sure.... unless she wants to talk about herself or HER kids.
Last but not least Nsib- PA ;BiP; NPD and not sure what else. This one has the most compassion of all (so what if it's only projection.... I'll soak up what little I receive) also has the most animals, the most remote residence, and MC is her choice.
EXNH - We were married 12 years;4 children;amicably divorced!! live in the same town and co-parent. The fact that it's amicable is great everyone most importantly our children. No anxiety, no hate, good communication. I wish our marriage was as good as our divorce. Most people can't seem to fully grasp the concept of my spiritual awareness and maturity about having an amicable divorce - worst offenders being Nsib 1 & 2.
EX narc bf - 5 year relationship. By the time I broke off our engagement I didn't recognize him. He didn't even resemble the man I met. At the time, I resented him for that too but now I know it's often the case with NPD men. Interesting though.... when we first met he described himself as being "different" with his ex wife than who he was with me. hmmm
EX pathological narc bf - 10 month relationship. I was in love with who I thought he could be if he stayed committed to fully engaging in our relationship. Now I know that wasn't on his agenda in the slightest. So many red flags I ignored.. denied... I D&D myself by giving him all my love. The second he got wind of my "self-care" he withdrew more and retaliated too. My breaking point was finding out about his other Ngf that he had been involved with even before he met me. I read the emails between them. Several daily email that were flirtatious plus comments about me that were dismissive and derogatory. Hurtful beyond anything I have ever experienced. He didn't care about exploiting me because she mattered more. Until things cooled down between them probably because she experienced his ED madonna/whore complex. Or perhaps it was due to the fact she is MARRIED. Who knows but he came running back to me with such assertiveness that it actually made me uncomfortable even though it's what I thought I wanted all along.. The break up is recent and IDK why I miss him but what I do know is, I don't miss the anxiety and stress he gave me for 10 months! I probably miss the man I was waiting for him to become.
With the exception of my best friend for almost 30 years, Narcissists are all I know. Family and most friends.... But reading and researching several books on this subject during the last few months plus discovering this forum has helped me gain better Narcdar. Yet I am fearful of the unknown. And how do I explain without sounding like a freak the dysfunctional Narc life I experienced? As it is, it's difficult for me when people seem suspicious after discovering that I am a genuinely kind or considerate person. Maybe it is my geographic location or maybe I am only surrounded by NPD....