Why were we able to deny reality for so long

In the first couple of months, we were going through pictures, we spent hours going through his, my turn, totally uninterested. Red flag number one. There were lots!!! Maybe two years in, he would call me Ginny, I said, Ron It's Jenny. Wow,,,,,,,,,,as long as your warm and have a vagina. But no that's not true, either, they pick women, at least to get married to, that have every thing they don't, morals, internal strength, a conscience, a good work history, house, a job, happy, the list could go on and on. Fuck them and the horse he rode up on. Live and learn, and let go. Jen

After 6 years, my stbxNH has no idea what I do for a living. I don't even want to know how many hours upon hours he talked about his work. Never about mine. He doesn't know anything about my work and really nothing about me. I also showed him pictures from my past and he would have to be doing something else as I tried to show him. He had no interest at all. None. If I talked about me at all he would never look at me and again had to be doing something else while I talked about anything. I cannot imagine being so PD and not have any connection to anything.

right before he did his last D&D, he actually screwed up and was trying to yell at me and blame me for something, as usual..and he forgot my age! He literally said he didnt remember my age, and we were together 8 years. Monsters I tell you!

I brought Short Dick Man home to my parents' house. I showed him the house and my old room and then I saw an photo album that I thought he might want to see. Since we'd only been dating a few months, I thought he might be interested in knowing more about me or what sort if life I had. I showed him the first page and then started to turn the page when he quickly snatched the album closed and practically shoved it off his lap and back into my hands. I really am unable to describe the expression on his face; it left me completely off balance. It was a combination of offense, anger and sarcasm maybe. And condescension. It was like he absolutely could not imagine for all the money in the world why I might show him a few old pictures of me. There was of course that plastic-y smile on his face all the while. Always passive-aggressive. He was angry that I might make five minutes of our relationship about me, I think. Nothing in it fir him, so why waste time? And how dare I forget that it's all about him! All I can say is that in one shove and a facial expression, I felt cut down two inches tall. This was in the beginning and I didn't know what to make of it. Now I think if I was dating and a guy did anything to leave me scratching my head trying to figure it out, then that alone us reason to run! Normal people don't need deciphering.

I stayed in denial for years! And it was obviously by choice because I knew something was wrong with him. He was mean to me. He was so selfish. His life was only about him and everyone in it was in reference to him. A friend called me today saying she mentioned to an old friend hat the divorce between me and the N had happened and she asked if it was because he was doing something illegal. The friend wouldnt go into detail about my whole relationship with this N, but he fact that this persons first thought was about an illegal situation tells me that other people could see him. It's the classic Avator line: I see you. Well, everyone else did. I denied it. But now I see! And it's not good. When you know better, you do better. Now we know.