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#1 Aug 29 - 5AM
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

Children

I write a huge post this morning and it disappeared. Bugger.

Really struggling with my children having contact with him.

My sons been there a week and now won't talk or text me. He adores his dad and cones home poisoned and hating me.

My daughter 12 sees him clearly but he has just bought her a puppy...her dearest wish...and so she's off to see him.

Feel rejected and betrayed.

Still nc though

Hope I never have to set eyes on him again

Aug 29 - 6AM
Kitty02 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

I am so sorry, it's awful

I am so sorry, it's awful when the children don't see it, but believe me they will one day. Take it from some one who knows. I have a 28 year old who hankered after his father for years and eventually saw him for what he is. I have a friend who has three children and divorced from a complete arse and they now see their father for what he is. All you can do is keep your side of the street clean and be there for your children and live your life and make your children proud of you, don't utter a bad word about him, let them learn for themselves...difficult I know but his relationship with his father is separate from his relationship with you and just like you had to find out for yourself so does your son. One day a puppy won't be enough to bring them round to his way of thinking. my eldest sons father used to throw money etc. at him in the end people see through that. In the meantime be kind to yourself, do something lovely for you. :-)) (hugs)
Aug 29 - 6AM (Reply to #2)
Jelickuk
Jelickuk's picture

Thanks for support I have

Thanks for support I have felt really clear for a couple of weeks but today doubt everything. My children are with him, his ow and puppies and I feel old and unwanted. Doubt everything. Maybe it was all my fault, maybe I drove him away, maybe he isn't a narc. Not a good day x
Aug 30 - 6PM (Reply to #6)
ordinarycourage
ordinarycourage's picture

reply to Jelickuk

Sorry I didn't see your post right away...haven't been on the site in a few days. Trust me...your kids will eventually see him for what he is. Mine were 9 and 12 when we divorced and now they are 16 and almost 20! They are no longer wowed as much by the trips to Disneyland and the kittens, etc. His true colors have shown through. He refused to get them a used car to drive during their high school years. This is from a man who has 3 cars and a boat. Be kind to yourself and don't engage in oneupmanship even though it's tempting. YOU are their mom, not the OW. Be there for them during the difficult teenage years to come and love them for who they are.
Aug 29 - 6AM (Reply to #3)
Kitty02 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Jelickuk

Be realistic, you are going to have days like this, go with the flow and tell yourself this like all things will pass, gets some 'easy to watch' feel good films, I especially like the ones where the bloke goes off and leaves the wife/girlfriend for an OW and then the wife/girlfriend is really upset but builds her life up again and turns things round(girlpower)and the ex arse who left is gutted he lost her because she has turned her life round.....lol...not my usual watch but it sure makes you feel better...lol.... lots of men crush woman and stop them from growing when you are in a relationship with them. Baby steps.....Get some bubbles in that bath girlie and join a yoga or pilates class or get a home DVD if you have no money for a class, get in the fresh air and walk, read uplifting affirmations everyday and stay away from people who bring you down or are selfish. What did you used to like to do when you were a child????? You are not old you are just feeling it at the moment because you are heartbroken. I'm 50 and consider myself young, my dad is 90 in September and lunches twice a week with his friend he has had since he was 4. About time you had some YOU time and small pleasures for just YOU!!!!
Aug 30 - 8AM (Reply to #4)
lillymarch
lillymarch's picture

Kitty02, thank you

I know that your reply wasn't for me but it really lifted my spirits! It's time to do something for me, it's time to think about me, and it's time to start loving my life. Thank you
Aug 30 - 12PM (Reply to #5)
Kitty02 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

lilymarch

Hi hun :-))You are more than welcome, my reply is for anyone who wants to read it. I do at least one lovely thing for myself every day, and something nice for someone who deserves it,(usual the dog...lol) it doesn't have to be a big thing, baby steps and eventually you so love spoiling and validating yourself that you don't need anyone else to do it for you and your health boundaries are just there without even trying, you don't even have to think about it..lol. Woman are so used to multi~tasking and looking after everyone else that they tend to forget about themselves.