Retaliation

9 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 10 - 1AM

neveragain5

Retaliation

Hey Everybody!

I am new here and have been trying to end a two month "thing" with a N man. The situation is complicated, as is my past experience, (I somehow end up working and having relationships with these type of people, still trying to "fix" my end of things). More about that later....

I will have to see this man next week for two days, (he is one of the contractors at my work) We spent a total of 10 straight days and nights together. It was a "whirlwind romance". He had me completely under his spell when we were together. On our second date, I was used as a means of retaliation toward a girl that I believe had the "audacity" to say "no" to him. I have so much to share about the experience, but will post more later.

My question is, how often have any of you experienced retaliation? He lives far away from me normally, however will be in my vicinity for a week. He is extremely immature and I know he has a gun. Any advice will help!

Thanks!

#2 Mar 10 - 9AM

neveragain5

Thanks for your replies and

Thanks for your replies and advice! I have learned from the last 3 months that he won't take "no" for an answer. No matter how many times I told him that I need to focus on my life and I have things I need to do before I get into a relationship. Against my better judgement and some encouragement from family and friends, I gave it a try. I found his persistence to be admirable. I saw signs of "strangeness" right from the beginning and tried to break it off at least 10 times, (usually after I had spent those concentrated weekends with him). When he would call me during the week,( he is staying with a friend in between jobs), his phone calls almost appeared to be "timed" and he seemed to be impatient to get off the phone. I found it to be so weird because if he wanted to cultivate a relationship with me, wouldn't he want to talk more, not just put in the perfunctory phone call? Finally the picture became clear to me. I just know that they want to walk away the "winner" and I don't think that this is over in his mind. I will try to arrange to not be around and see what else I can do. Thanks again!

#3 Mar 10 - 8PM (Reply to #8)

neveragain5

Thanks Again Guys...

I know I was pissing him off, because I kept resisting. The whole living situation thing was weird and as far as the girl goes, it didn't even occur to me until later. Anyway, I appreciate all of your input. I am usually pretty good at spotting these guys, (I tend to get super defensive i.e. "bitchy, around them initially). There was a level of familiarity here with this one due to the fact that I knew some of the people that he had been around for years and they were being employed by one of my family members. Talk about biting the hand, (indirectly) that feeds you! :P

#4 Mar 10 - 10AM (Reply to #5)

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

QUICK HURRIED PHONE CALLS.....

bad sign....probably is married or has another girlfriend...

#5 Mar 10 - 11AM (Reply to #7)

The Girlfriend ...

Exactly what I thought!

I agree with narcnarcwhosthere, first thing that comes to mind about his behavior is that he is NOT separated like he told you, just used that as a line to cheat with you, and then keep you on a string. He either has a wife (that he is NOT separated from nor divorcing)...or a GF... OR, even just that fact he has used YOU to retaliate towards HER (What a immature Creep!..don't EVER let yourself be used for any reason! Not a great way to start a relationship in any case! They will say ANYTHING to get what they want. (in your panties)...It's what he does that tells you...the quick phone calls where he has to get off fast all of a sudden...probably means his wife or GF just got home...or came in the room. When he gets off the phone with you, he probably tells HER that you are 'Bob' from the office about a work assignment, or 'Joe' who is having car trouble...or any number of lies. If he is talking...he is lying. RUN! Don't let this man in your life...He is not worth the inevitable heartbreak and destructionhe will bring into your life! The added detail that he has a gun...OMG...dont date him girl!!! RUN!

#6 Mar 10 - 10AM (Reply to #6)

rache

Right-on!

They always appear to be hiding something,or,will appear restless/bored/moody when they are ~TIRED~of you,and,wanting excitement-especially true of a psychopath.

#7 Mar 10 - 1AM

rache

My psycho

Would normally use the threat of leaving for another woman as a means to get me to cling to him-not retaliation for saying no-they like US to say yes.THEY cheat,lie,abuse anyway-and-retaliate on their whims.Doesn't matter what we do or do not do.Best to stay clear of them-especially,if,he has a gun.Gun+immaturity equals dangerous.

#8 Mar 10 - 1AM

Kelly

Don't do it

I think it's possible my entire relationship with my last Narc was in retaliation because I had the audacity of saying no to him twice before. Don't even know if it was intentional on his part. Probably wasn't. These guys are morally and emotionally unbalanced and they are like Barbara has said on this site. Like a lion in the jungle. It is what it is - - stay away. In a few more months, you will be fine and you will see him like some cartoon character from a distance. He doesn't get it, never will and you are not the doctor. ;)

#9 Mar 10 - 7AM (Reply to #2)

Barbara (not verified)

do NOT do this!

BLOCK HIM FROM PHONE, CELL, EMAIL, TEXT etc see if you can stay with a friend for the week - somewhere he doesn't know! immature, pathological plus gun? STAY FAR AWAY! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

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