When We Hesitate to Define our Boundaries

by Demian~DreamSinger

So many of us feel guilty about setting boundaries, as if somehow it’s just not a nice thing to do.

We feel guilty, because most people are basically caring people. When people try to intrude into our space, we can sense on some level their desperation. We know they are feeling pain, and it’s hard for us to ignore.

Some of us (particularly females) are hardwired to be nurturing to others, to take upon ourselves the responsibility to provide comfort to others, to make everything all right.

We need to remind ourselves that nurturing others is not the same as letting them suck the life out of us or use us as a doormat for their needs. We need to remember that there is a difference between defining our boundaries and alienating someone out of relational aggression.

Defining our own space does not make us bullies… no matter how hard someone, trying to bully us into believing it, insists it is.

from this GREAT BLOG:
http://www.relationalaggression.net/blog/2009/01/23/when-we-hesitate-to-...