no contact

How do you stay strong during No Contact when all you get is urges to contact him?

He discarded me even though I stayed after all the cheating, mental and physical abuse. I miss him and love him still. I feel so stupid for struggling to let go. He blocked me and I still can't bring myself to do it also even though we haven't spoken in a month. Does it get easier? I think about him constantly. I don't want him back but I feel so rejected. It's like I want him to hoover so I can feel like I was worth something to him. What is wrong with me? Please help!

Narc Hoovering is The Absolute Worst.

This is my second attempt at NC. Blocked him on Facebook (business and personal), blocked him on my phone, so a month later he finds and adds me on Instagram, then he creates a new Facebook account to message me and friend me on. He messaged me "Why the blocking?" and I thought "Indeed, why do I bother?!?! He will just slither in the back window while I am locking the front door..." Wtf...will this ever end?! This is so damned hard. I can't remember ever feeling so strongly for a man, why is it that the only one I want ends up being completely toxic and broken?!

Narcissist Blocked My number

My narc ex just blocked me last night. Two weeks ago, I initiated No Contact. He would not leave me alone and was begging me. I caved two days ago... I answered his text. Just to tell him goodbye again. Then he said I was cut off. So last night I sent him chocolates because I felt bad for telling him goodbye. Then I text him... he said leave me alone forever. I tried to apologize, he said text me one more time and you're blocked. I called and then he blocked me. I wanted to say something nasty to him but I couldn't. I feel like he may have unblocked me but I don't want to check.