My day from hell

Nothing much changes from day to day except the depth of my
distain for my husband now, hatred is such a big thing, I dont think I have ever really hated anyone my whole life, sure there have been people that I didnt really like, but theres a huge difference between hatred and dislike, im now to the point where before it was only pity I felt for this man I find myself married to, its turning into full fledge hatred. I feel so trapped and alone right now, yet from this site I have come to realize im far from being alone. True each persons story here may differ in some aspects, but we all have the same emotions to come to grips with. Over the weekend I was so sick with a migriane headache, im sure brought on by the turmoil my life is in at the moment. He started his bitching at me early this morning and it hasnt let up yet.

LOL I even fell yesterday on the ice, while outside doing work that his lazy ass should have been doing, but I never bothered to even tell him I did it, he wouldnt have cared anyway, because it doesnt concern him, my thoughts or feelings, lol i dont think he would actually care in the least if he woke up tomorrow and I was dead, except for the inconvience to him, that he might actually have to do something in his miserable life. He either going to cause me to have a mental breakdown or a stroke from the rising of my blood pressure constantly, I can already feel another headache starting to build up, so I know before the night is over what I can expect from that....another headache from hell.

I took my ring off today, and its never going back on my damn finger again, he can sulk all he wants too, I dont give a damn anymore. I told him I would be sleeping in the other bedroom tonight, and I will stay there every other night until I can find my job and get the money I need to have to leave his ass here in Canada and head back home to North Carolina. Yes I know I may still have months of listening to him and his rantings, but I wont be wearing his damn ring anymore while he does it.

Im sure tonight when he is ready for bed, he will expect me to trot right behind him, like the good obiedient puppy dog he expects me to me.....aint gonna happening in this lifetime you f----ing bastard. Im sorry if my language today offends anyone, its not the way I normally talk but today Im at my wits end. Honestly if he walked in front of a mack truck tomorrow I wouldnt care less, would be a relief to me.

Well the head is raging good now, so im gonna turn the lights off and try to get thru the next few hours. Thanks for this forum to vent my anger and emotions out....I journal alot but its just for me, I never really get any feed back from that, or moral support