He has ZERO compassion!

16 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 2 - 6PM

Kath1234

He has ZERO compassion!

Last week I mentioned to my ex-Narc boyfriend that I was thinking of going to New Zealand on a Missions Trip to help with the earthquake relief.

His response was as follows, "we didn't cause that earthquake, so we shouldn't have to help them".

My jaw dropped as I could not believe he had no compassion for innocent people.

Have any of you come across this with your Narc??

#2 Mar 3 - 2PM

Susan32

Same here

The ex-Psych professor raged at me my junior year because I volunteered at a local elementary school. It was VOLUNTEERING. He'd ask me what was in it for me, and he was mad that I wasn't making $$$. I did it anyhow, and I think I might have publicly humiliated him in front of his students in the process. Yeah... I was his student. Not his girlfriend. Not his wife. Yet I inflicted tremendous Narc injuries on that one. He couldn't stand the fact that I volunteered at food banks, cared about the homeless, animals (he claimed to be a vegetarian, but he disdained animals) He hated innocent people. I was very pro-gay rights, I had gay friends, and he was a virulent homophobe.... despite the fact he ogled men in my presence instead of women. He identified with Prince Andrei in "War and Peace",who doesn't abuse his serfs for purely self-serving reasons, but doesn't believe in building hospitals for them either.

#3 Mar 3 - 9AM

newpage

Also

Can I note how extremely sad it is that we are all caring compassionate individuals who would dedicate our own time to help others- strangers, that somehow wound up with the exact polar opposite extreme of ourselves? I mean this board exemplifies this! You all have been more compassionate and understanding than my ex has ever been towards the end. Everyone wants to help here. I am sitting here today missing him, blaming myself and my anger at him during the relationship, and thinking of what was! What I did wrong. :( Wistfully thinking of someone that seems to hate humankind? Why do we do this? Maybe that is the biggest tragedy of all. Hugs to all, NP

#4 Mar 3 - 9AM

newpage

Wow

This thread is illuminating, thanks for posting. Something similar happened to me when I volunteered with a friend to go to New Orleans to help build houses, as there is still so much to be done there. I told him how excited I was, and he said "Ugh, why the hell would you do that?". Equally disdainful of homeless people, etc. My stomach dropped and got tight and I thought to myself, did the person I love really just say this? Something similar happened when we were collecting for the Haiti earthquake at our workplace. "Are you kidding me, I'm not giving THEM my money". Scoop and stayingstrong- mine would also watch videos of deaths and cruelties. INCLUDING even, people's deaths and suicides captured on tape. It saddened me and horrified me at the same time, yet still I want to excuse his behavior as eccentric or stemming from his illness. STILL! Very sad.

#5 Mar 3 - 8AM

Steph

We watched a brief vidoe on

We watched a brief vidoe on factory farming. It was graphic and cruel. There was a clip of a very sick chicken, unable to get on its feet, it layed there and was rolling around in circles. The narc laughed. When I was asking him if he had followed the story about the Chilean miners that were trapped, his response was "nah, a bunch of miners were trapped and then they got out". But then he could speak with compassion about other things. Hated people that hunted. Loved cats. No wonder he confused me.

#6 Mar 3 - 6AM

Scoop

Thinking back my narc didnt

Thinking back my narc didnt react to news event in the way i would , i remember one incident where we where watching an anti animal testing film made by our friend , it was very graffic and i had to stop watching togther with another couple of friends we went out of the room but my narc watched the whole thing with out emotion and then got up and made a ham sandwich and a cup of tea ... you dont make a ham sandwich when you have the animal rights people over for dinner and they have just shown you one of the most disturbing film i have ever seen . It chilled me to the bone how he showed not a flicker of feeling about it , at the time i just thought he was keeping his emotions inside , i didnt think for one moment he had NO emotion .. but that was before i knew he was a raving psycopath .

#7 Mar 3 - 6AM (Reply to #9)

Amazed

When my exNarc has his dog put to sleep he had no emotion either

My exN's dog was put to sleep by his ex wife at the time he had NO EMOTION whatsoever. He just sat there, no feeling, I told him "wait this is weird, you are having no emotion, you are not upset, this is weird" Now it all makes sense, now that I know he is a NarcPsychopath..yuck

#8 Mar 3 - 2PM (Reply to #10)

IncognitoBurrito

Amazed...

Oh, it breaks my heart to read what you said! When we had to have our sweet baby girl put down (She had tumors in her lungs), it was one of the most gut-wrenching experiences of my life. I will never forget it. The moment she stopped breathing, I completely lost it! I still miss her all the time. How is it POSSIBLE for someone to feel NOTHING in a situation like that?! I'm floored.

#9 Mar 3 - 2PM (Reply to #11)

IncognitoBurrito

Amazed, again...

Just saw this, and thought it related perfectly! http://i.imgur.com/jUqVX.png

#10 Mar 3 - 5AM

spinning

Yes, the cold, superior

disordered one got upset about all the Haiti news coverage. He was also not so covertly racist and bigoted and tried to hide his white supremacist attitudes... ...Gross. He is so disturbed and so unevolved. Interesting that this is yet another common thread. Sincerely (still trying to stop) spinning

spinning

#11 Mar 3 - 2PM (Reply to #7)

IncognitoBurrito

Mother

My mother and father never raised me that way at all. I grew up in a very diverse neighborhood. Until my mother met my step-dad. Then she would say snarky things about "Blacks," "Hindus," and "Mexicans." She even started to speak with a Southern drawl. She's not from the South! But my step-dad was. I remember thinking it was very peculiar behavior.

#12 Mar 3 - 3AM

onwithmylife

I remember

when he retired I said to him why not volunteer at something you like to do to stay busy and be in touch with the world, he said to me, i do not want to have to be at a place at a certain time, meaning when he worked, he had to be at work at a certain time, big deal, volunteering is totally different, bu he never got the picture!It was always what is in it for ME.

#13 Mar 3 - 3AM

Anne_

9/11

I once saw a documentary on narcissism, I think it was called "egomania", you might find it on youtube. In that, a guy was talking about he only noticed that there was something wrong about him in the aftermath of 9/11. He lived in America, and he noticed that everyone near him was pretty shaken by the recent events, was helping out, giving blood, volunteering, etc. And he couldn't understand it. He KNEW that other people must be emotionally involved, but felt nothing himself. His only reaction was "Hey, I don't live in New York, so why should I care?". I sponsor a little girl in Venezuela (foster parents plan), and every year, I get photographs and letters. I'm happy that I can make a difference, bc my money is used to make necessary reparations to the school, or other things to community benefits from. xN used to make fun of this. He didn't understand it. he thought I did it bc of the tax benefits this brought about. I think this is quite common. They won't do anything, they won't help out anyone when they are not benefitting from it.

#14 Mar 2 - 8PM

Mariline

My ex Narc(s) not only was

My ex Narc(s) not only was emtionless and void of any empathy......he just REJOICED in other people's pain. I have seen him ( two of them actually) laughing for it, with a very, very satisfacted face.

#15 Mar 3 - 2PM (Reply to #3)

Susan32

Rejoicing in other's pain

That is how the ex-Psych professor treated me during the final D&D. I'd be bawling, IN PUBLIC.. a NORMAL man would've taken me to a less public place or tried to comfort me. Through my tears, I'd see him smiling smugly. But when I congratulated him, SMILING with the smuggest grin I could muster, and he was raging, he snapped, "STOP SMILING!" Of course I didn't. I told him, it was MY turn. The ex-P thought it was hilarious when I was mourning my grandfather's death. He'd tell his male followers that I was like a cartoon, that he thought it was entertaining to reduce me to tears in class. He'd say,"I love watching you cry." If you go to http://www.snagfilms.com there's a documentary called "The Siege" about how a revolutionary group called CERPA held the Japanese Embassy in Peru hostage. The ex-P was DISAPPOINTED when the siege ended. Watching that documentary was triggering&cathartic. He'd talk about how the revolutionaries freed the old women because the old women were "weak." He mocked Aung San Suu Kyi standing up to the Burmese "military might." (his favorite phrase at the time was "military might") He mocked her&her civil rights movement for standing up to the military dictatorship. He claimed he hated weakness.... and the irony was that despite the fact he HATED HATED being the object of ridicule, he was the Most Mocked Professor.

#16 Mar 2 - 7PM

Disillusionedx2

they have no empathy or compassion...

for anyone but themselves, hollow inside and outside, cold blooded and evil, yes...it is common.

stay~strong

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