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no apologies here....

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#1 Oct 25 - 11PM
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

no apologies here....

in the context of my own personal growth,
but in full context to too much too fast

for anyOne else....

My sincerest apologies to you. To you that I spoke way too much & way to outloud to.

My apologies.

My apologies to everyone but me.

I am blessed that I See now, I am blessed that I hear now, I am blessed for the "tuff love" in my life that's brought me here... to healing

Healing BEyond the 'norm'...

*spinz round & curtzies and exits gracefooly....*

"i'm outta here... I'm gonna go heal now".....

NO APOLOGIES....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVFj-_SDIHE&feature=related

Oct 28 - 9PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

Sick sense of apologies

The ex-Psych professor idolized Leo Tolstoy. It's pretty clear that Leo's wife, Sofia, suffered from C-PTSD because of the constant narcissistic abuse. She attempted suicide 4 times, and in her first diary entry, she says that after her wedding, her husband "loved watching her cry." She spent her wedding and honeymoon in tears. Years later, in her diary, she would say that she felt like a doll or a machine. Because Leo treated her that way. After Leo died, she went to his grave daily, apologizing, despite the fact he ABUSED her. Yet the ex-P wished that if we married, I'd do the same for him. He loved the idea of people weeping at his grave, apologizing for the way they treated him. In "War and Peace",Prince Andrei,a definite narcissist, abuses his fiancee Natasha. He causes her to "lose love of life." On his deathbed, Natasha apologizes to him... instead of the other way around. So, for all his abuse, it's Natasha apologizing instead of Andrei. Ns/Ps have a SICK SICK sense of apologizing. The ex-P would fantasize about people apologizing to HIM on his deathbed, or weeping apologies over his grave.
Oct 26 - 2AM
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Healing Beyond the norm

I don't comment much on here just read and post the odd link but your post struck a cord with me today...I feeeel Goooood too...lol. N #1 battered me and N#2 broke my heart but I see them for what they are now and certain other people too..lol...thank you both of you N/P's for making me grateful for the things in life that money can't buy...and leading me to love and find myself again.
Oct 27 - 9PM (Reply to #11)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

**LIKE**

(((((CarolKittyGale))))) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Oct 28 - 3AM (Reply to #12)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

I lied. ~ A letter to & fro the Narc (yeah, I meant fro ;)

I lied when I said I was ok. I lied. I lied when I said I could do this. I lied. I lied when I slapped on that "happy face" and pretended everything was ok. I lied. I lied when I told you, you were my world. I lied. I lied because that's all I knew to do to make you love me. I lied. I lied when I enmeshed myself into your world as if it were my own. I lied. I lied when I pretended you loved me. I lied. I lied when I smiled & adorned that "tuff girl" facade. I lied. I lie if i say I'm not scared shitless. I lie. I lie if I say I'm not lonely when I watch football now. I lie. I don't lie when I say, "I AM gonna do this, I AM gonna breathe again without you and with ALL of me". (all 'N'zzzz included.... ;) I don't lie. I don't lie about the healing I am experiencing. I don't lie. I don't lie when I interject healing where healing is "deserved". I don't lie. I don't lie when it could 'save u time'... seriously girls.... I don't lie.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVFj-_SDIHE&feature=related PS: (((((CarolKittyGale))))) ~ thanks for that :) and... and... and... I don't lie when I sing this from the depths of most inner most inner BEing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM I don't lie when I KNOW it's "done"... I don't lie... and I *spin round and curtzy BEyond the norm*... *sheepish grin*... ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Oct 28 - 5AM (Reply to #13)
Used
Used's picture

IAmMINE

i dont understand ,if you are ok or not...if you are great stuff, if not i hope you will feel diffrently soon... i just dont understand, but the music i do understand and love and best wishes and hugs.....used xxxxx
Oct 28 - 10PM (Reply to #14)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

used & understanding...

This is a "letter that never gets sent" sort of post. And the point being that there are so many ups and downs with my healing it feels quite like a rollercoaster ;) Thanks for the reply, sorry for the confusion. ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Oct 26 - 3AM (Reply to #10)
girlfriday
girlfriday's picture

Amen, CKG

That's all I have to say to that. Amen.
Oct 26 - 1AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

IamMine

I'm not so sure if you feel good slapping your head with your forearm... Where's here? What's up?
Oct 26 - 12AM
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

OMG, I wish I could feel

OMG, I wish I could feel like that everyday! but I must say, I do feel it some days and that is a start. If you have found it, you must tell the rest of us how! I am not sure if I am understanding the full meaning of your post - are you leaving? almostlydia

almostlydia

Oct 27 - 9PM (Reply to #6)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

Not "leaving"...

but pulling back a bit yes. Sometimes I feel "out of place" and right now I've got some things happening and I just need to pull back and regroup. (((almostlydia))) ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Oct 27 - 11PM (Reply to #7)
almostlydia
almostlydia's picture

IamMine

I understand completely. Take care and check in as often as you can and certainly whenever you need to. Stay strong. almostlydia

almostlydia

Oct 26 - 2AM (Reply to #5)
CarolKittyGale (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Almostlydia

Trust me, you will get there and be even more fabulous when you get to the other side...
Oct 26 - 12AM (Reply to #4)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

I wish I could, pre tell...

to 'here' I don't even 'know' where I'm at right now. I only know, "I am NOT there"... I am not 'here'... I'm now. ^slaps head with her forearm*.... .... Where's 'this'? ~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them, --she said, (taken from my final remarks in a Sync Weekly Magazine article about my art and mySelf

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.

Oct 26 - 12AM
michele115 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Iammine...

I hope you do feel good. I hope nothing happened, something is brewing in the air but I don't know what. I hope you do feel good, and that you keep on moving forward and feel good everyday! Peace and blessings.
Oct 26 - 1AM (Reply to #2)
iAmMINE
iAmMINE's picture

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~ ~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give...

~~~ Keep Learning & Keep Healing ~~~

~~~~~ The best revenge is to survive and be victorious over it. Nobody can take from you what you don't give them.