Back at no closure AGAIN

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#1 May 20 - 10AM
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Back at no closure AGAIN

So I spoke to the N for the first time since our brawl on Friday. Was called to speak to the supervisor at work. We were in the same room together and I said, "Do you have anything to say?" The N said, "It was a bad situation." I said, "Anything else?" He said, "I'm sorry that happened to you." As if he had WATCHED it happen. As if it had nothing to do with him. I said, "Do you realize what a problem your secrecy is?" He said, "That's your opinion." I said, "I was your supposedly exclusive girlfriend for three and a half years. You BATTERED me to keep me from looking at your phone." He said, "Whatever."

My ex-husband used to do that: apologize in that weird, detached way. He would do some horrible thing and his apology would be: "I'm sorry you got mad." Never "I'm sorry I did that."

May 23 - 2PM
smileyfacepr
smileyfacepr's picture

Geez!!!

I had forgotten about that!! Yes when he would do something that upset me and id share my feelings w/him hed say the same thing "sorry u feel that way" and then hed go ahead and do the same thing again. God where did they come from??? They r all the same SHIT!! Im still in awe how similar ALL our stories are.. its like they r clones!!! smileyfacepr

smileyfacepr

May 21 - 9PM
Carolyn
Carolyn's picture

Narcissists are not

Narcissists are not connected to the world that you are connected to. You expect him to be normal but his brain chemistry is not there. You want him to be ok but he is not and his emotional intelligence is very limited. Be interested and caring for your future and say goodbye to him. You will do fine he won't.
May 22 - 5PM (Reply to #10)
TexN (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

Carolyn

Welcome back! You hadn't posted in a while :)
May 20 - 5PM
Susan32
Susan32's picture

"I'm sorry you feel that way"

That's what my ex-N would say INSTEAD of apologizing. There was no REAL closure like adults would have. I was the one who was supposed to do all the apologizing, and take ALL the responsibility, but he wouldn't. Not at all. No,"I'm sorry I did that" or "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings."
May 20 - 5PM
Amazed
Amazed's picture

helldweller

Did you meet this psychopath at work, did he somehow have multiple relationships going on that interfered with your work? They will deny any relationship they have had with felicity that would make your mouth drop. When you confront them, they switch you off like a light. Even if you have been "intimately involved" for many years. They have no recourse to their actions, no connection to their behavior. Just get away from them.
May 20 - 6PM (Reply to #7)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Amazed

He is a judge. He is in major trouble for domestic battery re: me. It's horrible. He lives 30 feet away from me. Ugh.
May 20 - 11PM
Barbara (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

one word for him

PSY CHO PATH! you will NEVER get closure with this guy NO CONTACT!!!!!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller
May 20 - 11AM
narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

BASTARD!!...

'i'm sorry that happened to you'.....THE FUCKER..hearing that just set me off.....reminds me of the psycho saying 'i'm sorry you feel that way'....they have a real knaok for distancing themselves from the any responsibility, don't they??.... this comes as no surprise.....as the psychopath lay dying....as i was walking out of the hospice the last time i saw him.....after all he'd done...murdered BEN...tried to murder me...destroyed our lives.......on my way out the door i turned to him and said......'mike..do you have anything to say to me?...anything AT ALL?'....and he just stared straight ahead at the TV...wouldn't even look at me, the woman who have dragged him to hospital and kept him from dying and rotting in a rathole apartment......'no..not at this time'..... not at this time......or any time.....they will deny us closure with they're dying breath...let's just hope how soon yours breathes his..... “I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget." - Chaim Herzog
May 20 - 3PM (Reply to #4)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

narcnarcwhosthere

What a complete pr*ck. Gee, I wish I could live in a world of my own making where I do whatever the hell I want and take no responsibility for it. This ass is a GD Judge, making people take responsibility for less than what he did. You're right; hope he dies soon.
May 20 - 11AM
Janet
Janet's picture

That is very familiar. The

That is very familiar. The one I knew would say, "sorry you are so discouraged" or "sorry we are in a bad spot again". After he had cheated or got wasted and there was a fight. Oy. Peace. J

Peace. J

May 20 - 3PM (Reply to #2)
helldweller
helldweller's picture

Janet

Yes, just sort of "observing" the situation.