Own up only when...

Well this dude probably did it because he's well known, has a career...probably recommended by publicist and attorney! Like Tiger, the big public apology ~ which I feel was just a set up to regain some sponsorship and head off to the Masters. It's never because they're sorry for what they did, it's damage control to save their asses. C Y A! They have a public reputation to protect.

Mine was the same way. WE were always responsible 50-50. So he would have an abusive episode. Then later he would say, Why didn't we go there? Why didn't we buy that? And I'd say, You were angry with me & we weren't talking. He'd say, "We are so stupid." This is why therapy does not work with these guys. They are abusive. But the couple has to take responsibility 50-50 in family therapy. So the victim is partly responsible for the dysfunction in the relationship. But, there is nothing she can do to change the situation because he is in control & he makes 90% of the problem with his abuse. My N loved family therapy. Managed to use therapy to control his first ex-wife for 20 years. I guess she thought he would change. He tried to get me into family therapy as well. He had that therapist wrapped around his finger. I think, possible, she saw through him in the end. Nevertheless, I think she was willing to work with us. Somehow I think it's all a money game. Every therapy session was an agony. He was actually more abusive after every session. Even told me, "You don't play the game of therapy." When I said, I didn't think it was a game. It was about being sincere and real. He told me I was crazy & stupid. I was always crazy & stupid because I did not agree with him or do what he wanted or see things as he did.

exNH tells everyone I cheated on him and refused to work on OUR problems (when he refused to have sex, refused counseling, refused to talk, no accountability) WTF! Psycho-Boy tells everyone I am a crazy, obsessed stalker who's been dogging him for years (he contacted ME in 2002, he pursued me - I & my lawyer have all the chats & emails, he posted smack on the internet that cops have refused to arrest him for, he was seeing expensive hookers since 1999, he was doing phone sex since 1991 and he was doing cybersex chats since 1997-98) he also says he would have 'been cool with' me if I had just left it alone. WTF Narc #1 - came to see me and slept with me in 1977, continued contacting me for 2 years saying we could still have a relationship, had mutual friends contact me saying he still cared. Then when I confronted him about why he abandoned me as soon as he got me pregnant and I didn't see him for 15 years his response "you smoked pot and I have a reputation to protect." (this same guy was sleeping with multiple women for years, got out of an engagement by lying and telling the girl he was "dying" when he was already engaged & living with another woman (divorced) and her son, told people after I demanded accountability I was a crazy obsessed lunatic who was "still in love" with him... after 25? years of marriage he divorced, moved across the country from first wife & his daughter and married a (also divorced, moved across country from her now-grown son) woman who'd been part of his high school harem for 30 years. This woman is now crowing how he's the LOVE OF HER LIFE on Facebook, etc. WTF? Owning up? to what? in their realities these inconvenient truths never happened. ~~~~~~~~~ Moving Forward: Coaching for Victims Pathologicals Feelings buried alive never die. - Alice Miller

I noticed that too ~ his tone was as if this just 'happened' to them. When he also said their marriage was tainted with infidelities...that statement too implies that something just came along and 'tainted' them, like catching the flu bug or something...LOL I guess we're savvy enough about N's that we can spot the 'special words' they use to manipulate any given situation. How sly of him to make it appear he's blameless...I literally wanted to SCREAM when I read his quotes! AAAARRRRGGGHHH! Oh yes, azucar...mine blamed me for not wanting to work things out, so it's my fault the relationship ended. That's okay, I'll take the blame and wear it if it means he will NEVER contact me again.

Good Grief! The worms are crawling out of the woodwork and are everywhere! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh