Feelings...

22 posts / 0 new

#1 Mar 31 - 10AM

taken

Feelings...

I guess my biggest "constant" is that I keep trying to convince myself that the man I loved... loved me back... even if it was "just a little"....

The more I read about this disorder... the more I find that there is no way the narcissist can love anyone other than themselves...

Still I find myself thinking of the "good moments"...when I "felt" his love...or whatever he was doing/saying that made me feel he did...

That is the biggest mind twist for me...

Not being able to tell myself that he never could have loved me...
Or is that just his narcissistic ways rubbing off on me?

#2 Apr 7 - 2PM

woundedsoul36

Great Book

I just read the Ebook ..it is so helpful. Especially in detailing why the vampire picked YOU as the victim. I have read so many times that they prey on the weak, emotionally unbalanced, "easy" targets...and I was nothing like that. I was a trusting, pretty, giving, nurturing, optimistic, loving, generous, humanatarian, mother of two, and Registered Nurse. Independant and outgoing... I now know that those are the qualities he wished that he had, that those qualities are what he has tried to steal and suck me dry of. he preyed on my goodness, he preyed on the fact that I couldn't stand to see/hear of others suffering. He took all my character traits and used them to get me and once he was comfortable in my submission and love for him, he preceded to take every character trait THAT I THOUGHT HE POSSESSED, back...like it never existed and in his place was left this manipulating, shallow, con man..that NEVER WAS CAPABLE of feeling the things he said he did for me. I think he stole my goodness..my belief and trust in myself and humanity. I will never be the same.

#3 Apr 7 - 8AM

bubbles

Women who love Ns book

I too had the same problem finding this book and could only find a copy on Amazon at $198,BUT.. yippeee, its now available ... $15.97 plus p & p. Unfortunately for me the postage doubled the price but its WELL, WELL worth the money and more! Bubbles x

#4 Apr 7 - 8AM (Reply to #18)

bubbles

Link to buying WWLP

http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/women-who-love-psychopaths-2nd-edition

#5 Apr 7 - 9AM (Reply to #19)

taken

same book???

When I went to that site for the cheaper book...it is a newer edition... Is this book also recommended reading? With such a difference in price...makes me wonder how much information was not put into the newer book... Anyone have the cheaper version and still think it's the book to read? thanx...=]

#6 Apr 7 - 2PM (Reply to #20)

Barbara (not verified)

book

that is the NEW version of the SAME book. btw I have one free USED copy of the book up for grabs for the first person that gets me their address at one2one4victims@gmail.com ~~~~~~~~~ Repetition does not transform a lie into the truth. - Franklin D. Roosevelt Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals

#7 Apr 7 - 5AM

Healingnow

I know

Hi, I know, me too, I have spent the whole weekend thinking hard and have moved on to another level of truth. The further I get nearer to the truth the more of the devil I discover at work. I now believe I was brainwashed into being with him and that it wasn't even a clear choice that I made. Now that may sound simple to all who know that they do hypnosis etc but coming to terms with the fact that I had thoughts and words that weren't even really mine is huge. How the hell does that happen. So why would a person do that? it's definately not love. So I say that when he first left with another woman that he set up I said he was confused bla bla. Now I say he is a predator and I have been eaten alive and slept with the devil. I say it even though my denial does not always let me believe it. I go through waves of it but I only ever feel at peace for a short time and it's always when I have discovered some truth on another level. Thats how I know it is true, unbelievable though it is as each new realisation hits. I have been the subject of a hidden agenda the same as the book emotional rape talks about. Thank God for that book.

#8 Apr 7 - 6AM (Reply to #15)

Barbara (not verified)

why would a person do that?

because they're a PREDATOR read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS asap! ~~~~~~~~~ Repetition does not transform a lie into the truth. - Franklin D. Roosevelt Coaching for Victims of Pathologicals

#9 Apr 7 - 8AM (Reply to #16)

taken

book...

The cost of that book is $194.00.... Know of any used ones that are available cheaper... Would love to read it....

#10 Apr 6 - 8PM

enoughalready

Love

Anytime I question if he really loved me- I go to my bible and it sets me straight. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, does not boast etc. He was not any of this-therefore, it was never love. I was just a toy in his playbox! I'm happy I was human to walk away.

#11 Apr 6 - 8PM

enoughalready

Love

#12 Apr 1 - 12AM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

i know mine's not human....

and if he'd just do me the huge favor of dropping dead, i'll post a link to the autopsy photos to prove it.... i'm sure his brain looks like something that's being laying around in my fridge's crisper drawer for months.......

#13 Apr 1 - 12AM (Reply to #11)

Barbara (not verified)

brains

I think Psycho-Boy's brain looks like a huge gray limp d*ck... with some burn marks from all the acid he dropped in college exNH's brain is probably a HUGE block of dry ice with a picture of himself embedded dead in the middle ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#14 Mar 31 - 10PM

running

love fraud

I still believe my x loved me, I suppose one of these days it will sink in that he didn't. I don't know, how could I have been so blind, was it really love fraud? I truly fell in love with him, for the first time, I really believed I was in love, and I believed I was loved. So, if N's are incapable of love, does that negate the love we gave? Does it make it all pointless? Was it all wasted time and energy? This is all too much to think about. I wish I could block out everthing from the moment I met him...hmmm, that was 8 years ago, impossible huh?

#15 Apr 1 - 12AM (Reply to #9)

Barbara (not verified)

running

It is NOT that he didn't KNOW how - it is that he is NOT HUMAN and his BRAIN is MALFORMED both structurally and chemically and he is incapable of loving anyone!! You were a TARGET. read: http://www.lisaescott.com/2009/12/09/are-women-really-gullible I hope you get and read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS - don't be put off by the title, it will explain it ALL (I have a good used copy of the Second Edition going for FREE to the first person who writes me off-list!) ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#16 Mar 31 - 8PM

ForeverLearning

It is a difficult concept

It is a difficult concept that they can't love - so mind boggling to those of us who are normal. I like the rock example narcnarc gave, that was a good one. Think back to the weird kid back in school- you know the one (there were probably several over the years) who just stood out as not being normal, a weird vibe about him. We are not all created equal, some people just have broken brains and can't be fixed. Sad but true. And some don't give any hint how broken they are until they have pretty much steam rolled your heart!!

#17 Mar 31 - 3PM

narcnarcwhosthere (not verified)

NOT HUMAN!!...

it's just like loving a rock and expecting the rock to love you back....a ROCK has more depth of emotion than these bastards...they are not human...Barabara doesn't just chant that mantra to see herself type it....it's true.... THEY ARE NOT HUMAN........

#18 Apr 1 - 12AM (Reply to #6)

Barbara (not verified)

not human

Barbara doesn't just chant that mantra to see herself type it... it's true... God bless you narcnarc - sometimes I think people think I am kidding or making a joke - but I am not - I am DEADLY SERIOUS. THEY ARE NOT HUMAN. ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#19 Mar 31 - 2PM

Barbara (not verified)

taken

I went through this too but the truth is these non-humans can't love... anyone... at all - their brains are LITERALLY made different and their brain chemistry makes it impossible. it was all an act. you are not a narcissist - you are a victim - and there is NO SHAME in being a victim - YOU did NOTHING wrong!!! ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

#20 Mar 31 - 1PM

gullablegull (not verified)

You aren't N

I feel the same way. IF he never loved me, how did he make me feel so loved and secure? We were just objects to them, yes, but in our hearts it was all real, pure and genuine. That's why. Good people look for and expect the best of others, just the way we give of ourselves. Mine was married 3 times, I'm the third. Somehow, I convinced myself that he really did love me, for he stayed with us for 5 years, married, 8 years total. His other two wives had only lasted 1 1/2 yrs each. Now, I realize they were just far smarter than me, didn't have kids in the picture, and they managed to get out before they were damaged as badly as I am. Some prize huh? On my way to the dr now...on top of PTSD, I have an enlarged liver too? Going in to find out why.......let's put that on the list of rewards!!

#21 Mar 31 - 10PM (Reply to #2)

angela0714

Hope you're ok

Absolutely true. Because we're good people who can't possibly fathom not being genuine or devoid of any feelings, it is hard to accept. As much as I hate my N...who thank God I'm legally separated from, I realise he will never feel the joy or pain of real love. That is sad...at least it is to me. They are shallow, self serving con-artists who prey on honest, decent and loving people. I was the 3rd wife too. First one 1 1/2 years, second one 8 years (he had a child with her) and me for 3 years married( 2 1/2 dating)...One long term relationship with a woman 14 years older than him when he was 23. What was that about???She bought him a car I know... The 2nd wife was a beautiful woman who now looks like she's had the life beat out of her. I remember seeing her the first time in the supermarket with their son, and thinking "Oh my God, I saw pictures of her." "She was gorgeous and smiling..what happened?" I should have paid attention since I felt a sadness for her, like she was almost hollow inside. He did it to her, and me and I'm sure all the other women before. Take care of your health. I do hope everything is ok.

#22 Apr 1 - 1AM (Reply to #3)

Barbara (not verified)

accepting that they can't love

I hope all you ladies who can't accept it get and read & re-read WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS... you can get it at full price here: http://saferelationshipsmagazine.com/women-who-love-psychopaths-%E2%80%93-2nd-edition ~~~~~~~~~ The world is a dangerous place, not only because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. - Albert Einstein Visit My Info. Website for Abuse Victims

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