Missing the narc while I'm at work

Okay so today really isn't a good day. Not even work is taking my mind off the narc. I keep blaming myself and thinking of all the good times and even when I think of the bad times it's not helping me at all. It's making me really upset and I miss him so much usually after work I was thinking how we would cuddle. I don't want to feel this way especially since he threw me away like I was trash. I can't stop thinking that he'll be happy and change. I feel urges to contact. Can someone please help me. I need to get through this or I'll contact and I know I'll regret it... But the urges are so strong.

(Moved from 'share your story' forum which is for your story, not regular posts and questions)
The Path Forward