What does "forgiveness" mean to you?

Hello all,

I read this fantastic blog by Goldie last night:

http://www.lisaescott.com/2012/04/30/how-do-you-get-your-heart-understand

It really resonated with me, because this is sort of where I am at right now. I have been thinking about it all day, especially this line:

"I began to explore forgiveness of not only him for what he did and what he is, also me for having been sucked into this in the first place."

I can forgive myself, but the thought of forgiving XN seems impossible to me. I would like to be a big enough person to do this, but the idea of doing it just makes me angry all over again.

That got me wondering if a) I am just not at that point in my recovery yet or b) perhaps I am "defining" forgiveness in a different way to others. I see it absolution, albeit from a distance.

What does "forgiveness" mean to you - in the context of healing post-Narc?

Thank you.