Why

How did this happen. How is it that I am to blame. He came into my life. He convinced me that I meant so much to him..but he did not ever show it. He said that he wanted to build a relationship but he did not even try.
I am blaming myself so much..because I would wait for him to contact me but he didn't..and I would contact him and get no response and again and again. No response..eventually I became abusive..I feel that I was provoked into it though..why did he keep ignoring me avoiding me yet at the same time tell me that I was so important to him..I always thought that he was just using me to get someone elses attention because she always seemed to be there in his life..and he always seemed to have time for her..so she had no reason to doubt or " disrespect " him..as he always told me that I was " aggressive "..but I was reacting to his treatment of me. What self respecting person would sit back and watch the person that they love, talking spending time with some other woman, when I supposedly meant so much to him..why can't he see that? He is with her now. And he blame me for abusing him..then why did he treat me that way..why was he no nice and considerate of her..always showing her that he cared. but not me. he never showed it with me. did he really just use me to get her attention ? did he really love me and I blew it by being impatient and demanding? all I ever wanted was for him to show it..