A big FU

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#1 Feb 28 - 8AM
Clear eyes
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A big FU

The lies just keep piling up. Several months ago the Narc told me he left his wife and was living with his dad. Narc's hometown is about 45 minutes away from me. Anyway, I suspected he was lying, but really had no way to confirm. At this point in our "relationship" I had already told him, after a 3-month ST, that I had no intention anymore of leaving my husband and that the only thing we had was a friendship. So, because of that, I couldn't figure out his end-game as to why he would lie about leaving his wife. But, since it really didn't matter, I kind of chalked it up to his being a Narc and let it go. Today, I discovered that not only did he not leave his wife, but that they, as a family, went to Disney World twice during that time, and it looks like they bought a timeshare there. I am so pissed off right now and I really can't figure out why. I've been NC for more than 2 months, and have completely blocked him, and have absolutely no desire to contact him and open that ugly can of worms. But, I so wish to just scream at him and say FU, I knew all along you were lying. I think the thing that infuriates me the most is that he probably thinks I'm stupid and gullible for believing all the lies he told me, when in fact, I did not. I just let my love for him overshadow everything logical.
But, I know, thanks to all of you, that the best FU is silence on my part. I just hope he hears it loud and clear.
Thanks for letting me vent.

Feb 29 - 3PM
Layla
Layla's picture

They think everyone is stupid.

You just happen to be in the cross hair at the time their lips are moving...they lie each and every time they think they have something to gain. No one is immune to the selfish sickness that is the narcissist. Work your no contact...this lying clown is doing what he will always do.....lying, manipulating, using and abusing..... love~ Layla
Feb 28 - 5PM
Jar of hearts
Jar of hearts's picture

Same Here...

It angers me that he must think I'm stupid and gullible too and I so want to yell at him all the things I know were lies but I'm not going to because I've really no desire to speak to the turd :-) Xx
Feb 28 - 8AM
fallingfoward
fallingfoward's picture

I did....

the same thing, I let my love overshadow everything logical. Good for you for blocking that friend on fb. I've been nc for over 30 days, but some days a memory with be trigger and I will see the truth about the situation. It doesn't hurt me like before, but I can hardly believe the amount of lying that took place. So glad we are moving on. Nc all the way!!! hugs
Feb 28 - 8AM
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

Remaining silent is best.

Remaining silent is best. Even if you did take the opportunity to shout out a big FU, it wouldn't rattle him one way or the other. He got what he wanted and your reaction would just be icing on the cake. Continue walking away and know that it is not you that has to continue to deal with this disordered man. His brain washed wife will have to unfortunately. Stay strong!
Feb 28 - 8AM (Reply to #5)
Clear eyes
Clear eyes's picture

Sparrow,

Remaining silent is definitely best. I wish I had come on this board a year ago, because I think I wouldn't have allowed him back into my life, even as just a friend. I didn't realize then that I was just asking for another round of hurt, lies and anxiety. I won't ever give him the power to control my emotions and life again. But I'll be honest, his lies are a definite blow to my ego. Now that I'm a bit more educated when it comes to Narcs, I know my silence is the best defense I have. Thank you for your kind and encouraging words. This forum is great therapy, especially when I'm angry and need to vent to someone!
Feb 28 - 9AM (Reply to #6)
Sparrow
Sparrow's picture

You are so very welcome!

You are so very welcome! There is so much to learn about NPD and other disorders, and will take much time. I think your doing great and learning quickly! We can take our experiences and what we have learned and use it towards our future, so all is not lost because of our experiences with them. There is good that comes from it as well, it is just hard to see while going through it. Keep up the great work!
Feb 28 - 8AM
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

I get it

I was lied to...about how well his business was doing, the house he lived in, what his wife looked like... Its the thought that he thinks you took it in and are a fool that frustrates.. Can I ask how you found him out ?
Feb 28 - 8AM (Reply to #2)
Clear eyes
Clear eyes's picture

Snowflake,

Some of his lies I uncovered because he tripped himself up, a lot of times. He said things that contradicted things he had told me in the past. Which then prompted me to "investigate." The number of lies he told me is unbelieveable. Ironically, in the beginning of that 3-month ST, I sent him an email with bullet-points of all the lies he told me. Once he came back into my life, he never acknowledged that email. This last lie I found out through stupid Facebook. We aren't FB friends, but have just 1 friend in common. I only use FB for work, so I don't go on it a lot and, to be honest, haven't had the interest to learn much about it. But, there the info was when I logged on this morning. I hadn't even thought about hiding this mutual friend, but she is hidden now. A little too late, I guess. Crap.
Feb 28 - 9AM (Reply to #3)
Snowflake
Snowflake's picture

Hey dont be hard on yourself

I was just curious.. I do think its better not to know just because it hurts. Pick up, dust down girl, support here, you are doing great x