Just dated another N for 8 weeks

Interesting point. Are they "sensitive" to criticism? I know I recently spoke to a guy who seemed to get a little worked up about something . . . I heard a bell ring & the red flag waive. You got it right . . . he perceived criticism where none was intended. (This was in response to a comment below. But it got bumped up to the top when I logged in.) Overly Sensitive to Criticism = Red Flag Also, I think a man who is over 40 & is not in a long-term-relationship . . . well I think one should walk very gently with a large stick. Men tend to do better in relationships with women. If he's single . . . & seems like a good catch . . . well, maybe there's a reason. Too good to be true = Red Flag. I think you should be commended for waiting 8 weeks. I think that a person will know within three months that there is something off with this man. But if one has started sleeping with him, introduced him to friends and family as the boyfriend, well one is stuck. And there is the hope that the promise of the early days will be fulfilled. So I think the trick is to watch & wait. Instant relationship = Red Flag. I also read, if I catch a person in 3 lies quickly . . . run. And they lie about everything. Mine lied about smoking. I smelled a faint odor of nicotine & asked. He said he did not smoke. Even at that moment I knew he was lying. Turned out he smoked one cigarello every afternoon. I made an excuse for him. Lies = Red Flag.

I echo Hunter. I think there are some tell tale 'signs' of what a narc looks like when courting: *showering you with endless flattery *calls and texts constantly ...beyond the norm of someone just interested *intrudes into your personal time a lot (before we knew what narcissism was, we thought this too was flattering, it's not) I think those are some tell tale signs that the person COULD BE a narc. They are usually overkill in the beginning, with kindness, and flattery. And trying to literally sweep you off your feet. The old saying is true. If it's too good to be true, it is. ;)

Can I be honest here? You know I'm going to be anyway.. You should be working on you.. What makes you happy..What makes you tick. You are looking to men as a band aide .. The reason all of us have been narced is because we had a sore spot.. Until you find that sore spot you are going to run into narc after narc after narc.. It takes me 3 minutes, not 3 dates to pick up these predators.. Thearpy, Reading and working on you.. Hunter

around on you and say GREAT JOB! Eight weeks is some time, but your radar, your gut instinct and your commitment to YOURSELF to take it slow and REFRAIN FROM GIVING SOMEONE SEX WHO MAY NOT DESERVE IT saved you from months of heartache! That's a great thing! I know it's disappointing when someone shows their true colors and those colors are dark and dingy, but just think! You didn't press on anyway and ignore that! You listened to your gut and you valued yourself by going slow! That is so great! I think that's outstanding! While I wish this person had revealed himself a bit earlier, In the course of a lifetime, eight weeks is a drop in the bucket and at least you didn't give yourself away to someone who doesn't meet up to YOUR STANDARDS! This is awesome! I am a big proponent of long, slow 'getting to know someone' involvements. There are good, honest, fun men out there and you will find the one. Keep valuing yourself and listening to your gut and your light will attract someone who truly appreciates and values it. I am proud of you, Here. Don't be discouraged. This is actually a good thing! Most sincerely, (not) spinning. AND IT FEELS GREAT

I met a nice guy (thought he was) and dated for about a month and there was a lot of chemistry , he was nice, kind, didn't see any red flags at all. Anyway, we would text all day/night every day which built up some frustration so I decided to give in and have sex. Wow, the red flags were there but I gave in and actually saw him a few more times, he took me to a nice dinner, etc. I won't go into details but he was worse than my exN, had major issues with women. The controlling part came out full force and he would continue to text me but I ignored. Thankfully he went away and it was only a few months wasted. As soon as the first sign or red flag appears, I'm kicking them to the curb!! Thankfully no feelings developed, good to keep your guard up and protect ourselves, there are many narcs out there........

i dated one guy for 7 dates and found out through emails he had mommy issues, lives with his 83 year old mother, told me he could not take his 2 older daughters emotions, his mother smothered him, know that all, the red flags I ended it, thank God no sex and he wanted to see other women rather than us getting to know each other, sad..........said I was being' too controlling and manipulating' because i wanted us to date exclusively for a while and get to know each other UGH.

Well, as a Narc magnet, men and girlfriends, I am thinking that the slightest hint of criticism sends them into Narcrageville. So, perhaps that is the early test? Piss him/her off just a touch? Aside from that, I have learned that if I feel all giddy about the person across the table, it's a Narc. Life!!! xox

good for you! You must have seen something that soon. That is what I'm worried about too but I don't plan to date until I'm divorced or try to anyways, could be a year from now. I also plan to only date men that have been referred to me by a friend/someone I can trust. No bars, vacations or online. That really limits the field, I'll let you know in a year. What's the rush seriously!