going crazy! Need support

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#1 Nov 28 - 12PM
stateofpeace
stateofpeace's picture

going crazy! Need support

I did so well all weekend long with MC with my Narc.(we have kids). Just saw the bank transaction from this weekend. He spent so much money at 2 bars. double the usual amount and a taxi ride.

I just lost my shit and texted him! What is wrong with me?

Nov 29 - 11AM
stateofpeace
stateofpeace's picture

Maybe I should clarify

Maybe I should clarify myself, My husband moved out 8 weeks ago and we just started the separation process. We haven't even had our 1st hearing yet. We don't have any custody, finance or housing arrangements yet. The only thing that is set is that the bank account doesn't change. I'm not holding on to the account to get information on him. His income is the only income and I don't trust him with money. When all our financial stuff is settled then I will open my own account. (I don't have any to put in it) He wants to have me ask him for money and how things are now, I don't have to do that. I am not divorcing Donald Trump, we walk a thin line with staying afloat every month. We would be fine with money if he didn't have such a high taste for things. I have made sacrifices for many years to even out his spending. I did't go shopping, I don't get medi's or pedi's or even a regular haircut. We had agreed on me staying home with the kids until our youngest started Kindergarten and that is not going to happen now. The house needs to go so we will have to move. Everything is changing for my kiddos and if I can hang on to them a little longer before they have to go to daycare than I will do that. I was very independent before we got married and I know I can do it again. Seeing him dating is new to me. I know he has cheated but he has never actually taken someone out before that I know of. So yes, I am obsessing on the OW. This is new for me and it is the worst pain ever. Maybe from my own torment but I don't have a switch to turn it off yet. I am reading so many books and seeing a therapist. I am trying here. I have spent the last 16 years with this guy and I had a moment of weakness. We don't have any family that lives in our state or anywhere near us so I am alone when it comes to family. I do have best girlfriends but they are starting their own families and I do not want to burden them with my daily drama. NC is not an option for me right now. I am keeping it MC as much as I can having 2 young kids with him. I just needed to hear some words of encouragement at the time of my posting.
Nov 29 - 2PM (Reply to #25)
peaches
peaches's picture

Words of encouragement

Hang in there. It will get better. For now you're doing the most important job in the world-taking care of your kids. Alot of people don't realize how hard that is to do when you have a broken heart. Through my divorce my kids inspired me to take care of myself and advocate for myself, because in doing so I was doing my job to take care of them. A far as drinks with the ow-he knew you would see that transaction. He could have gotten cash. He doesn't care about your broken heart. He's a jerk! Wishing you the greatest good.
Nov 29 - 12PM (Reply to #24)
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Hi Stateofpeace

I don't understand. Who declared that the bank account can't change. And if they can do that, couldn't they have made provision that both of you get an "agreed" amount for an least essentials? Also, is there any way that you can make him solely responsible for any debts on it? Not sure how things work in the USA - but I would seriously look into these options. Can't you withdraw money, say a set amount each month, for you and the children's needs as soon as his pay check goes in so at least that way you get your share before he spends it all? And then you don't have to even know or think about what he's spending, doing whatever. You have your share. No more sacrifices - you have to have documentary evidence for the courts of what's been spent so no scrimping on your part. Have a professional haircut/manicures etc. etc. Better to be spent like that than on taxis and dinners for the OW before it disappears each month. State, it is never easy but you have to take one thing at a time. Sort out your finances first (for the sake of you and the children) running alongside your counselling and then tackle all the other stuff. You are overloading your mind trying to sort it all out at once. If it all becomes too overwhelming then you might want to consider see your GP for some help in coping. NC is never easy when you have children so, try to keep it as minimal as possible for your own sake at this stage. The more you know, the more you will spin. Dee x
Nov 29 - 12PM (Reply to #23)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

What words of encouragement

What words of encouragement are you looking for?? You say your independent so kick this up a notch .. He will destroy you at very turn.. We are try to guide you.. However you are making excuses.. He has given you no options NONE.. So for your safety and your kids .. Action is necessary.. Enabling doesn't happen here.. I know you are strong so get to it.. You feeding the wrong dog.. Hunter
Nov 29 - 10AM
peaches
peaches's picture

What are you doing to protect yourself today?

I hope you can wrap your head around the idea that you are a strong, smart, brave woman. You are going to get through this divorce. You will get to the other side of it! What is that going to look like for you? How will you support yourself? What does it take to take care of yourself? How are you working toward that everyday? You can take baby steps, but keep your focus on the big picture and you are the person right in the middle of that big picture. Another thought: are you holding on to that joint account to get information about what he's doing without you? Are you doing NC? Best Wishes to you.
Nov 29 - 8AM
Happy1
Happy1's picture

You better wake up and take

You better wake up and take control. He's not going to change and it will get worse and worse. You need to go open your own account and if you don't have a job you better go get one quick It will get worse and he's not in control if you don't allow it!
Nov 29 - 5AM
freaked
freaked's picture

can you start spending wildly too?

would it be possible for you to start spending wildly too from that joint account? You could buy expensive jewelry which you could sell and make some money..try to buy jewelry without any inlaid stones or pearls. and you could buy expensive clothes, shoes, handbags.. focus being on depleting that joint account...with material benefits swinging your way. let me know if this is do-able.
Nov 28 - 7PM
stateofpeace
stateofpeace's picture

Okay, moment of weakness has

Okay, moment of weakness has passed. This sounds crazy but I feel better after talking to him but not in a warm and fuzzy kind of way. When he speaks to me now, I recognize the bullcrap that he is trying to feed me. His voice is all I need to remind me that this is a good thing. He can go and find someone else to "give him everything he needs". Just hurts to see it but he does need money to wine and dine OWs. (ha ha) He isn't going to have too much money left over after everything is done. He is the primary on our account because he is supplying the income. If I were to open my own account and start taking money that would make him look better in our situation and I can't give him that. I don't want him saying that I am stealing from our account. He already thinks I'm hiding money from him. Neither one of us can change the account at this time. Which is good because he was planning on it. He had sent me a text saying he was removing me from the account and I was going to have to start asking him for money. So I called up our mediator and gave him that info and that is when the rule went into effect that the accounts would be frozen if he tried to remove me but it doesn't stop him from spending money on his daily maintenance and he is allow to X amount on entertainment. blah blah blah I would like to go back to work to prepare myself for the future but If I go back before things are final then he can say but "she makes X amount of money" "so I shouldn't pay her more". The less he has to spend on OW the better! I don't know about your Ns but my can't handle money. We only have debt to fight over. His CCs are maxed out and mine are empty:). Thankfully he doesn't have access to them. I learned a long time ago, to not put his name on my accounts and give him a card.
Nov 29 - 9AM (Reply to #17)
Goldie
Goldie's picture

Reality Check

This is the year 2011. Judges have far more respect for women who work. It makes it look like you are making an effort here to contribute and move on. Even if it is a part time job at this point and of course your lawyer can lay that on thick about how he was so cruel to you about spending money that you were forced to seek employment. Makes him look like a cad. I can't recall whether or not you have small children with this man,which of course would be a reason or excuse for why you are not working. If you don't you are screwed. You are playing right into his hand. He can easily say that you are trying to soak him dry and the judge may rule favorably for him. Also, if you don't spend any of the money, hello, it's going to look like you don't need his money. This is all about what show's on paper and if his expenditures far exceed yours, there you go. He gets more. Judges DON'T have to cut everything if half if they don't like the looks of a particular case. They can do as they please and often do. I am sure you can find some bills or needs that would look perfectly acceptable to the courts. THEN, you can show that YOU spent the money on necessities and he pisses it away on bullshit. Dont' forget, he IS allowed "reasonable" recreational spending. This is considered normal and most likely he will chock that all up to business expenses anyway and if you make a huge stink over it, you will look ridiculous. My impression is that at this point you are so hell bent on playing games with him and obsessing about OW that you are missing the big picture here, the real deal. The big picture is that while you are concerning yourself with little details like bar bills and taxi's, he is going to walk away with the big prize right under your nose. This is your future you are playing with here and I am not sure who is advising you on these matters, is it a lawyer? Or just family and friends. Doesn't sound like sound, logic thinking to me. You asked, so don't shoot the messengers here. Sounds to me like you are making a shambles out of your case with petty thinking here. Take a deep breath, and let go of the small stuff and keep your eye's and mind focused on securing a financially solid future for yourself. God bless, Goldie
Nov 29 - 8PM (Reply to #18)
Makessensenow
Makessensenow's picture

Just curious....

"This is the year 2011. Judges have far more respect for women who work." Just curious, on what info do you base this statement? I've heard the opposite--wait til after the divorce to go back to work to get more custody time and child support payments...but I suppose it depends on the state laws and individual judge....
Nov 29 - 8AM (Reply to #16)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Ok you've come on here for

Ok you've come on here for advice and still you are being played by this guy.. Unless you live in another country.. This bank VP knows you can not remove a person from a joint account.. The account must be closed.. So you my friend by contacting him gave him the heads up and now you are going to be scrounging for cash.. You won't get a job because you won't get more money from him.. Really .. . You are hanging onto a hopeless situation.. You are allowing this game... You are in the eye of the storm.. You better plan an exit route.. Because he's not going to guide you. Put those big girl panties on... Hunter
Nov 28 - 2PM
peaches
peaches's picture

Clean the account out before

Clean the account out before he does. Open your own and let the courts sort it out. Technically your joint account is community property and any judge will give you half of what was in it on the date of seperation. Make sure there is wording in the final papers that he can't drink when he has the kids. Best wishes. Even divorces from N's are hell.
Nov 28 - 1PM
nomoredenial
nomoredenial's picture

really

You cant seperate it? It was one of the first things I did. Take what he took and put it in your own account
Nov 28 - 1PM
stateofpeace
stateofpeace's picture

No, we can't separate it yet

No, we can't separate it yet so one person doesn't steal from it. I just have to witness him spending it on other women. I am going to tell him that for every dollar that is spent on other women, I going to match it on myself. Our mediator said if we agree on everything we could be done in 4 months! He hasn't texted me back. How can i expect him to if I ignored his all weekend. This is torture and I just want to check in to the nut house.
Nov 28 - 3PM (Reply to #11)
GeorgiaGirl
GeorgiaGirl's picture

Don't hold your breath

It will be a hell-froze-over kind of miracle if your narc agrees on everything. Been there, done that. ExN#1 drug out mediation for 18+ months.
Nov 28 - 3PM (Reply to #12)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Exactly.. You can not play

Exactly.. You can not play nice in the sandbox with these idiots.. Clean out the account.. Then who has the problem.. Certainly not you.. Hunter
Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #9)
Hunter
Hunter's picture

He's stealing by spending

He's stealing by spending money in a reckless fashion.. Instead of getting angry at him by texting you need to report this activity to the attorneys involved.. You are saying he can spend money on anything his heart desires alcohol, taxi's and you can't take money out to open your own account?? Honey does this make sense?? It doesn't to me .. I have to say I'm not a dumb woman.. But I'm confused.. Hunter
Nov 29 - 6AM (Reply to #10)
Hermes
Hermes's picture

Agree with Hunter

I have to agree with what Hunter says. Hermes
Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #8)
Done sourcing
Done sourcing's picture

It sounds like a rule is in

It sounds like a rule is in force that you cannot separate the money so that one person can't steal from it. Drinking it away in a bar is theft. He is stealing money from your family and kids to get drunk under your nose. Take all of the money and open an account in your name. Tell him nothing except through mediation. He will lie to you and manipulate you. Words and logic are wasted on him. His actions speak so loudly you don't need to hear his words! We all have been at the beginning, in the desperation phase. It is hard and it is lonely. It is survivable, as we have all survived our own personal hell. That is the beauty of this site. We go crazy on different days. This moment it is your turn. Do something positive for you and your kids. Pretend he is dead. Would you talk to a dead narc? OK, don't answer that, lol! He lives in the nut house, you are just visiting. ds
Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #7)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

And you’re divorcing. He can

And you’re divorcing. He can troll around w/skanks if he wishes. I wouldn’t show him you’re jealous…work on NC. That will be your ticket to sanity. He doesn’t care about you. Which is why you’re leaving him. Don’t expect him to be chivalrous through a divorce, if he wasn’t while married. I’m praying for you. Stay strong. Be tough!
Nov 28 - 1PM (Reply to #6)
Deidre40
Deidre40's picture

you can do anything you want.

you can do anything you want. get your own account, and put money in it. maybe however much he spent this weekend would be a start. ;) if you work...i'd deposit my checks into the new account. and get your name off the old account. you don't have to keep a joint account.
Nov 28 - 12PM
Used
Used's picture

stateofpeace

Do you still have a joint account?, if so seperate it as soon as possible, then he can do with the money as he wishes,and you can with yours....as to whats wrong with you, you get to look after the kids and home, he appears to get the highlife.....
Nov 28 - 12PM
Hunter
Hunter's picture

Nothing is wrong with you..

Nothing is wrong with you.. Re direct the question .. What is wrong with him?? Trouble is we know the answer.. Get your own bank accout. Clean this account out before he does.. Open one in your name.. Done ..no more issue.. At least it's protected from being wrecklessly spent.. Let the courts sort it out if he doesn't like it.. And that will be your response . Calling him on it is one big waste of time.. You will now get rage or silence.. Contact = Pain.. Hunter
Nov 29 - 8AM (Reply to #3)
Syren66 (not verified)
Anonymous's picture

The ONLY reason he hasn't

The ONLY reason he hasn't cleaned the account out yet is because he is flaunting what he is doing, knowing that you can see WHAT those purchases are being spent on. Okay, so beat him at his own game...swipe every dime out of there...that way, you protect and provide for yourself while completely denying him any means by which to conduct emotional waterboarding on you via a checking account. If you don't do this, then you are no longer a victim in this situation....you're a volunteer.
Nov 28 - 12PM
uk lady
uk lady's picture

Absolutely nothing

Why should you accept that he is draining your joint bank account solely for his entertainment. Is there any way you can get a separate account for you and the family's peace of mind? Dee x