Future

enjoy yourself hunter ... you deserve it,and you sound like you are really looking forward to going away ... have a great time ! ..... candy x

Good for you! Enjoy and please tell us all about it. It helps to hear the good stuff from others as they heal and move forward narc-free. Me? I am going to Indiana to see the folks, North Carolina to find my birth mother and plan to skydive in Autumn. I have started my own business and just got a new job as designer of high end closets, wine rooms, offices etc. I kept the faith and did the step work even when I felt like a nothing and paralyzed the success of the exN. I am not free and clear yet but I feel sooo much better than before. Ditto on the No Narcs Allowed! I hope you are all inspired and empowered to do something good for YOU!

1) Entertaining at home every single weekend we do not have plans 2) 1 week trip down South w/my family 3) 5 day trip w/the girls for R/R 4) I bought the local National baseball team home game package & have been going to a lot of games (a big FU to the N who loves this team but can't/won't buy tickets) 5) Do whatever the hell I please and spend money on whatever I want w/out getting the guilt trip from the N that he is so broke every fucking time I buy a pair of shoes or anything else (jealous, miserable bastard) That felt great! Thanks, Hunter!

I'm actually pretty down about the summer. Though the narc and I never did anythng together, my daughters and I went to the East Coast the first summer he and I were together, and we went to New Orleans the next year and Las Vegas last year, with their dad. This summer, their dad and I planned to take them on a road trip to the Smoky Mountains, badlands, etc, and to Las Vegas again just before school starts, but I refuse to do anything with their father anymore, because he's seriously BPD and cannot be in a room with me for five minutes without starting with the blame and commentary. A shame. We really did have fun together, and it's scary traveling with little kids alone. Soooo . . . it's back to my daughters and me making plans alone; unfortunately, this summer we are dead broke, and so going on a "real" trip is out of the question. However, I'm going to take them down next week to an old Mississippi River town where we always used to go in the summer. There's a big water park there and some quaint shops and wineries. I also think I may have to break out the tent and we'll spend a weekend in the Indiana Dunes, camping and going to the beach. They are both going to drama camp and will be performing "Wicked" at the end of the summer, so that will be fun. I will also be planning for our semiannual Chicago Ghost Conference, which will be the first weekend in October. I'm terrified that I won't have enough money to pay for it, but I'm trying to budget over the next four months to get the speakers, hotel rooms and venue paid for before the date. After that, I'm going to find a real job and get out of business with my ex husband. It's been nothing but a disaster and I'm determined to make a break.

Hunter, you are so right. My Narc would make plans with me and then out of nowhere cancelled. Talk about plans but never make them. I havent been on a holiday in years because the Narc wouldn't committ to one. Thank goodness we can make our own plans and actually follow them through without worrying that someone is going to drop out at the last minute. What a breath of fresh air. Have a wonderful Summer guys. It is winter here in Australia. I am contemplating Europe for August/ sept/ October getaway or a yoga retreat in Bali. Now I have no one to shun me for going away, give me the silent treatment for making a decision on my own. What a relief Thanks for this post x

I'm leaving for Italy on Friday!!! If not for my wonderful children, I would just stay there like Diane Lane did in Under the Tuscan Sun! I am definitely in that "change my life" mentality and feel like a serious shake-up is in order. Hunter makes an excellent point about planning something to look forward to. If not for this trip, I don't know how I would have made it through the last 2 months. Just knowing that I'm going to an entirely different continent makes me feel like a new woman. If only I had the freedom and resources to just globe-hop for the entire year until I'm completely recovered!! But I'm happy for this abbreviated escape from reality!

I plan to go to a science fiction convention with friends this summer. We haven't decided which one yet, but it's looking like either Oregon or Texas. I've never been to Oregon so I'm voting for that one. I agree. No Narcs Allowed!

You guys are going to FL again? How about you stop by pick some people up? Misery & Alabama knows how to party! P.S. Today, you know, I was telling someone about "trash" and well she said to me... *If you truely plan to never let him be a part of your life from here on out, you need to stop talking about him- completely- because its pointless now* Great Advice :)

I want to get a new job, brand f'ing new. I want to go back to school. I want to go camping with my kid. I want to quit smoking again, I started again last year, and it ain't working again, lol. Chris

Glad to be the inspiration for something like this! Looking forward to something really does a mind good. As I stated in another post, I am ready for the BEACH! Give me sand, sun, and surf. That's all I need to be happy. Your trips sound fun. Jealous of the Oktoberfest one! I declare a 20-foot radius around me and around all of you to be a No Narc Zone.

Once this leg of mine heals fully. I plan to spend as much time as possible with a horse beneath me... lol... I hope in the next three weeks to be back to barrel racing. Gotta get horses ready for State Championships over the 4th of July and then the big one, Worlds Nationals in October... Horses are my life and its time that I got back to it... I got 6 of them awaiting my physical recovery... I am hoping they will help with the mental recovery from the N as well.

I am going on a backpacking and yoga trip in CA...getting my kicks in healthy ways. I'm so excited that this summer I will be N-free and can ENJOY myself instead of obsessing and checking and wondering and crying and analyzing and looking and seething and LIVING a DISTRACTED life waiting for him to throw me a toxic crumb. Instead I will be breathing and walking and reading and smiling and dreaming and resting and visiting and playing and BEING PRESENT IN the BEAUTIFULNESS of the MOMENT. That's my sweet revenge...living my life abundantly and joyfully and knowing he'll be as miserable as ever.