Very wise indeed! The truth is often not the easy path at any time, but it is the only path which leads to integration of our thoughts and emotions which in turn direct our actions.
Also, the Cog Dis we all experience cannot survive the truth. The truth surely sets us free. It is only when we know with our bodies and our minds that we are more peaceful, calmer, clearer and saner without narc that we can finally let them go with our whole being.
That is when all the fragments of our shattered dreams begin to wash away and we see the possibility that freedom from the fantasy and facing the reality might be better than constantly sorting through all the broken pieces over and over in order to make sense of the senseless.
Journey on...
GREAT comment Journey! I always felt like my heart and mind were at war with each other when I was under the spell of my N. The longer I am away from her, the more I start to accept the truth. I feel that integration of my mind and heart.....and a sense of a healthier self emerging.
Great thought for the day ...thanks!
~KG
a great comment. It is very thought provoking and also very true.
My goal is to truly own what you say in the last paragraph. That is true freedom, indeed.
Thank you for this.
sincerely (still trying to stop) spinning
Thanks Kauaigirl and Spinning! glad my comment resonated with you. I have actually noticed this beginning to happen for me now which is more liberating than can be imagined.
In a way it was my unwillingness to see the truth all throughout the relationship with exN that got me into trouble in the first place. Even though that meant seeing through some lies which I didn't suspect I needed to do, there were glimmers of truth in the form of red flags all throughout my time with him that I ignored, some willingly, some without noticing.
Oh well, I see the truth now and I feel a little like yelling the way Mel Gibson did in Brave Heart... "FREEEEEDOMMMMM!"
All I know is if it the next journey shows signs of being anything like the last one I'm jumping off the train before it leaves the station!
Wahooooooo! is right!
Very wise...like this lots!
It feels so much better to get out of the games, stop making excuses for things and just turn around and face the truth. Like you stepped back onto the right path.....there is a sense of calm just knowing truth is on your side.
~KG
I recently read somewhere that we know all that we need to know in order to make the right choice. I applied this to my narc situation and stopped prying into his life. I already knew the truth. All I had to do was accept it and give him up. Truth is actually an amazing thing. After acceptance stress just seems to melt away.
Yes the truth will set you free. For 25 years I hid the tremendous abuse I received at the hand of the stbxnh/p. I was sick emotionally and spiritually as well as physically.
Lying to everyone and most of all lying to myself telling myself that my marriage isn't that bad, it could be wore. No it couldn't have gotten worse. Only if he would have killed me would it have gotten worse.
When I finally opened my mouth in therapy and uttered those shameful words (I have been abused for 25 years in my marriage) That is when I felt free. Free from the secret that was killing me and eating me up alive.
No more. I will never protect him and his bs again. The cat is out of the bag and I am truly moving forward with my life, as difficult as it is, it is no where as bad as the abuse that I have endured and I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.
So Yeah! The truth will set you free even if it hurts like hell!
Peace!
now I see it, daaa geez what is wrong with us, are we communicating like narcs? ha ha I will add even though that truth sets us free the journey will not be pain free, but know you are on a journey that can only lead to a better life. I mean I wish it were as easy as saying, Oh I see that is what he is, no wonder I was going through all that hell ok I am over it. Ya right I wish. When you find the truth then your true healing can begin you wont find your truth with them, they are the people of the lie remember? They represent everything that is the opposite of truth. I find that pretty ironic that living in a fantasy world, and their illusion will never win in the end, TRUTH wins in the end. It tells me that is how we should always live our lives in truth and honesty with ourselves
yes Grasshopper!!!! and what have you learned from this Dorothy? Well if I ever go looking again for my hearts desire, I wont go looking any further than my own back yard because it was always there to begin with..... The grass isnt always greener on the other side, it just depends on who the gardener is, ha ha ha
I was just posting this on FB talking about seeing the truth: (Regarding being with a Narc).
"It's like loving a human shell in a clown costume. That is what it looks like now that I am out of it. He was a clown. I just could not see it at the time because I was under his spell. Phoney, fake, make believe. just like Pinocchio. A wooden little boy liar masquerading as a man who never became a real boy. How sad, yet, not my headache anymore."
Goldie
"It's like loving a human shell in a clown costume
eww like Gacey? I like to think of mine as Peter Pan in Never NEver illusionland, I guess that would make me Tinkerbell - He is a psychopath Peter Pan, ha ha ha I dont recall Peter pan masturbating though but hey - we can always change the script just a little to fit. I know what you mean Goldie now when I look at him he was nothing but someone in a costume, boy could I think of Halloween jokes so what are you going as this year? Well that depends on what you want me to be my dear, I can be anything you want me to be - I wear this costume 365 24-7 so its halloween everyday for me, they are truly messed up
HA! My ex N has TOTAL Peter Pan syndrome...Afraid to grow old and to grow up and it was always ALL ABOUT HIM.
Peter even abused and flaunted Wendy infront of Tink! lol
But I personally can't think of ex N as Peter Pan. It would mess with me because Peter Pan was my first crush and he is hot compared to Gacey.
Hmmmmmm...How telling is that? That PP was my first crush!?
YIKES!
I'll picture ex N as GACEY.
GOOD just keep that picture in your mind because that is what he was closer to really being. Peter Pan was much too mild of a comparison for mine, but he had the emotional maturity of Peter Pan I should have said.
This is my new vision, I picture him as an empty shell I found at the beach, empty getting faded by the sun. He actually looks worse the more I can see through his facade. It's like part of the brainwashing was for me to see him as beautiful. He isn't. He looks like crap. This is probably why he kept coming back because I thought he was the most handsome man on the planet and he knew that was not true. There is an old movie called The Enchanted Cottage and the couple there each think the other is beautiful, come to find out they are not. That's how I looked at my N like he was bigger than life. He is a pee wee really. 6'6" of little devil boy.
Maybe they should dress up as babies for halloween with a big diaper, a baba, and rattle and cry out loud. That at least would be honest.
Goldie
My brother in-law enjoys male bonding over making furniture such as IKEA. Should he, my sister, my nephew and I end up in the Southwest, my brother in-law and the ex-P's father should build a nice big IKEA crib for a 50 year old tenured professor. The adults can go off to talk about philosophy and science... and hopefully the ex-P will be satisfied with my sister's pureed sweet potatoes. My nephew likes it. Besides, the ex-P had awful teeth and he might've lost some.
Apparently http://www.amazon.com/ is a good way of getting diapers in bulk... why not deliver them to the ex-P's workplace? FOR HIM? His name would be on the gift card.
Very wise indeed! The truth
Journey on...
GREAT comment Journey! I
Wow, Journey, what
spinning
Thanks Kauaigirl and
Journey on...
Journey
Idealk
Journey on...
Very wise...like this
I recently read somewhere
Yes it does!
victimnomore
ok
Everyone
ha ha
Yes, it will
Goldie!
"It's like loving a human shell in a clown costume
HA! My ex N has TOTAL Peter
'll picture ex N as GACEY.
yes
My brother in-law would build the crib...
Goldie
Very true and very wise! 8-)