I’m still in shock over the discard.

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#1 November 8, 2017 - 3:44pm

I’m still in shock over the discard.

Hi, I’m new to this site as a member but I’ve been reading a lot of the help and advice over the last 8 months. I was with my narcissist for 2.5 years until the physical abuse reached a point that I moved out of our flat we shared (both our names were on the lease), only because he threw out my possessions. He taunted/hit me for 3 hours after I refused to move out to accommodate his parents visiting for a week (I gave in to this twice in the past). He never apologised for his actions or words and even came back to me a few months later picking up like nothing had happened. I can’t believe I didn’t run for the hills but he promised to seek help and then we would go to couples counselling together. 2 weeks after this agreement to work through it he vanished, no texts, nothing. I let myself into our flat 2 months later, we slept together then he verbally abused me again the next day. We agreed to both sever all ties with our flat cause I couldn’t cope with him starting a new relationship in a place we were meant to have a future in. He agreed then did a u-turn and demanded to stay. I managed to get him out of the flat and I then left. The fallout from my actions regarding the flat were horrendous, from abusive texts that I made him look for somewhere else to live to him leaving all the sentimental things I gave to him in a pile on the table the day the keys were handed back. He has never spoken to me again since the day we were last together in the flat. He’s now been in a relationship for at least 7 months although I think it was whilst we were still in contact. How can anyone move on so quickly from a long term relationship and still be in it? I can understand if it was just a fling but this doesn’t compute in my mind. I’ve just started counselling today as I’m struggling with the whole craziness of the relationship, the future promises and the ‘I’ll be the one to make your dreams come true’. It absolutely destroys me to think of him with this new girl, going through all the wonderful intimate moments we used to share when I’m left to go through the pain.

November 8, 2017 - 5:31pm

Same amazement

Dear Silver,

I am also new to the site and just started writing. It really does help. I fell in love with a narcissist and was only involved for about a year and I broke it of about two months ago. He made sooooooo many promises about our future. (The house we rented together meant so much to me too!) He said so many things like I was the only one he would ever be with again, and I am the reason he has to live and on and on and on. Well, I was just amazed at the way he was able to discard me as well. The sou-crushing event of breaking up with him was so hard I was hospitalized due to stress (IV fluids, only in the ER for a few hours). But I told him I felt like he just trashed me, or let me go like a piece of trash. (I was forced to break up with him after finding child porn on his old computer). But it was like one day the love of his life (which he called me all the time) was gone and he was like, "Eh, that sucks, gotta move on." I was in pure disbelief. But the reason he could do this is because his mind is broken and sick. He literally cannot tap into those parts of the brain that cause you and I (normal human beings) have to have the normal reaction of pure hurt, pain, loss, confusion, loneliness, etc. It is sad but true. I am having an especially hard day today and I am sorry you are going through this, but I am glad you posted. My thoughts are with you.

-JR1331

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