As a victim of a narcissist, it's very easy to feel angry and that you will never forgive your narcissist. No one has ever hurt you so badly, and you can't ever imagine it will ever be topped. You are now wiser, stronger, and more determined to never be put into the position where a narcissist will ever hurt you again. Two months into my devastating heartbreak of being disposed of with a one month old child, I am seeing things more clearly than ever. I am healing, more quickly than I ever imagined, having the power of information. These people are not like us, and we should not let them take us down to their level. Sure, you may want to punch them in their face, get revenge on their other woman, or expose their sickness to the world… but really, it does not matter. It's unfair, and it is what it is. After much thought and soul searching, I choose to reach into the core of my being, and be empathetic to their illness. Empathy: what they are incapable of – it's ironic. I am grateful that I have the ability to be empathetic, and that I can feel things so much bigger than what he can ever feel. So, here is a letter to my narcissist, and it comes from the heart:
I am so sad when I think of how everything went down. It is unfortunate, mostly because we created a life from our relationship. Now that I know what I know, I realize that our "love" was never really love at all. It was one-sided adoration, and I'm OK with that now. I am so grateful for my ability to purely love another human being – something you will never know. It's a great feeling, and one that I would never trade for anything. Sure, it opens the doors to excruciating pain, but even that is more real than anything you will ever know. And that is sad. I really feel for you – I understand it's not necessarily your fault. We are creatures that are unexplained, and just like the pedophile or mass murderer, there are things behind those walls that we can never understand or appreciate. I know when I hold our daughter and see her smile that my joy and love is so deep that no one could ever take that away from me. When you hold our daughter, it's not the same when you experience those things, and again, that is sad. I wish it was different. I wish you were capable of real feelings, and most of all, pure, unconditional love. That is what life is about, and you will never discover the true meaning of life. You will always fight yourself, and you will never have a meaningful relationship with another human being. I mourn that for you – I mourn what could have been for us and our family. I look back at our "good" times and I choose to cherish them, rather than pick them apart and decipher the falseness. Your world is what you make it, and I choose happiness, love, and strength. I will forgive you for the harm you have done, and I will forever regret that you are not capable of recognizing what you have thrown away so freely. Another will one day pick it all up, dust it off, and really cherish it for life… and you will be all alone. It's sad – let's not kid ourselves. You are, after all, a human being that deserves acknowledgment. I realize that is what the priority is in your life, and I will not conform to that selfishness. I will see you as you are – a sad, pathetic boy that never got what he needed when growing up, and therefore has no ability to feel empathy, love, or regret. I sincerely hope that one day, by some miracle, you decide to get help and it works. Your daughter will be most thankful, and I will only experience joy to see you find out what love is really about.