May 3, 2012
You are an amazing piece of work. I can’t believe I let you suck me into your web of lies and world of fantasy. You totally used me and I refused to let myself accept it. We both know that I knew something was wrong all along. You took advantage of me when I was in a very dark place and then used my pain to feed your empty soul. You are a strange creature indeed.
You are immature, impulsive, deceitful, conniving, and incapable of loving anything with a beating heart. All that is important to you is manipulation and mind-fucking everybody around you so they stay so confused you maintain the upper hand. You live in a world with no foundation. You build castles in the air, you make empty promises, and you are incapable of living up to your word. You completely lack integrity and compassion.
You played me like a fiddle for three and a half years. I am very disappointed in myself for allowing that to happen. But I always knew somewhere deep down in my gut that there was something amiss with you. I am just sorry that I didn’t have the strength to cut you out of my life sooner. There were many times when I wanted to, when I knew it had to be done. But all your lies kept me believing in something that just didn’t exist.
I gave you every bit of me. Each and every one of those bits you swallowed up then spit them back in my face. Real people don’t do that. You are like a mirage in the desert where you found me wandering and lost. Quite the spell you were able to cast upon me. Just like all your relationships before me and certainly those that will come after you are incapable of honesty, love, respect and commitment. I almost feel sorry for you.
There is no way for me to even begin to unwind the lies and half-truths you told. You are totally full of shit. Unfuckingbelievable. I know you are proud of yourself for having the power to hurt others. You should know though that it is not your power at all. You no longer have control over my life. It is over. I will move on and you can say and think whatever story you want to believe. Duh, Losing. Losers lie, losers deceive, losers quit and losers never win in the end. I will heal from this. You have not broken me and you will not make your escape with my heart in your pocket.
Truly you are cruel and very unusual. So take your smirk and your crown and your high and mighty self-righteous ass out of my world. Goodbye Mr. Mirage. You are free to rape and pillage any victim you should happen to find. Because, like you say, that’s how you roll. Hopefully they will see through sooner rather than later and get to stepping before you cause them any more damage than you already have.
With Love (for myself),